OPINION: The Importance of Fathers in Raising Our Children

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There is a truth we must confront… fathers matter. It is an undeniable reality, yet it seems we often take for granted the powerful and irreplaceable role men play in the lives of their children. I applaud the fathers who are already present, engaged, and actively shaping their children’s futures. It fills me with pride every time I see a father with his children, whether they’re simply taking a stroll, attending a school event, or engaged in some other form of bonding. This should not be the exception, it should be the rule.

It warms my heart when I see families out together; mother, father, and children. That sense of unity is what every child deserves. Over the years, I have noticed some improvement. More fathers are stepping up, more fathers are present than we saw in the 90s and 2000s, but let me be clear: this improvement, as heartening as it is, can be much greater.

The benefits of having a father in the household are countless and profound. Studies show that children with involved fathers are more likely to perform better in school, have higher self-esteem, and develop healthier relationships. Fathers teach their sons how to be men, and they teach their daughters what to expect from men. They are role models of work ethic, discipline, and character. A father’s involvement in his children’s lives is a cornerstone to raising emotionally stable, resilient individuals.

Conversely, the statistics around fatherless homes are heartbreaking. According to data, children growing up without fathers are four times more likely to live in poverty, seven times more likely to become pregnant as teenagers, and twice as likely to drop out of school. These numbers are not just statistics, they represent real lives; real futures being compromised. The absence of a father figure is often cited as a major contributing factor to youth crime and substance abuse. And let’s not forget the emotional toll, the sense of abandonment and insecurity that many children, particularly boys, feel when their fathers are absent.

Yet there is a darker side to this issue. There are selfish men who father children and then abandon their responsibilities. These men have made the heartless decision to neither support their children financially nor engage with them in any meaningful way. They are living free, unburdened by the responsibility they owe to the children they helped bring into this world. In many cases, these men repeat the cycle, fathering multiple children across various relationships, leaving a trail of broken homes in their wake.

This is not just a personal failing; it’s a societal one. We cannot build strong communities or a prosperous nation when we allow this behavior to persist. The brokenness created by absentee fathers; men who abandon their children and shirk their responsibilities, tears at the fabric of our society. We must rid our communities of these elements. And by “rid,” I don’t mean ignoring the problem, I mean holding the men accountable. Whether it’s your son, brother, cousin, or friend, we must demand better. Do not enable men to be absent fathers. Do not excuse their neglect. Insist that they not only provide financially but also invest their time, love, and presence in the lives of their children.

And this isn’t just about fathers. It’s also about the role we all play in ensuring that these men step up. This is not just an issue for men to address; it’s an issue for all of us… society as a whole. If your brother or friend is neglecting his children, don’t stand by and say nothing. We have a collective responsibility to make sure fathers understand that they cannot—and should not—walk away from their children.

However, it would be remiss of me not to address another part of this issue; the mothers who prevent fathers from having access to their children. The sad reality is that, in many cases, bitterness, unresolved anger, or personal grievances have led some women to deny their children a relationship with their fathers. The reasons for this can range from broken relationships to betrayal, but regardless of the reason, it is unfair to the children. The children did not ask for their parents to split. They deserve to have both parents involved, regardless of whether the parents are together or not.

I have seen too many cases where women, out of spite, use the children as pawns in a game of revenge against their ex-partners. They deny fathers access to their children, even when the fathers are eager to be involved. And worse, when these men are denied access, the expectation is that they will still pay child support without even knowing how their children are doing. If they fail to comply, the courts often take harsh action. Fathers’ wages get garnished, yet the children still suffer the emotional consequences of not having their fathers in their lives.

This manipulation is harmful to everyone involved… especially the children. When these mothers prevent fathers from seeing their children, they are robbing their children of the chance to experience a complete family dynamic. They are also perpetuating cycles of anger, resentment, and division that will affect those children for years to come.

I understand the emotions at play. Relationships can be painful, especially when they end on bad terms. But we cannot allow personal animosity to dictate the lives of innocent children. A mother’s anger or hurt should never take precedence over a child’s need for their father. For the sake of the children, we need to put aside our grudges, our egos, and our past hurts. Let the children have the love and guidance of both parents.

As we look forward to the future, I am calling on our society to do better. We cannot continue to turn a blind eye to absentee fathers or the heartache that children experience when they are denied the love of both parents. If Antigua and Barbuda is to be the shining example of strength, unity, and prosperity in the region, we must first begin at home. It starts with our families. We cannot afford to let the cycle of fatherlessness continue. It is up to all of us—mothers, fathers, and extended families—to ensure that men step up and take their place in the lives of their children.

Let us stop the cycle of neglect. Let’s raise a generation of children who know what it means to have both parents, present and involved. If we want our children to have a brighter future, we must give them the foundation of a loving, united family. Because when fathers are present, children thrive. And when children thrive, so does our society.

Let’s make this the norm.

Sincerely,

Proud Citizen of Antigua and Barbuda

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8 COMMENTS

  1. Having BOTH parents in a healyth. loving environment is best. wonderful piece. I hope we take it to heart. Baby-daddy syndrome is no good.

  2. Getting closer to the point. It’s not just fathers we need, it’s families…traditional families. Statistically speaking, that’s the best type. Ladies, if you’re with a man and you find out he has children make sure you get him to go look for them. Yes, there’s will be less money to spend on you (if that’s your goal anyway) but remember, if he does it to them he’ll do it to you one day.

  3. Very well written. I must admit that I’ve been seeing positive articles, specifically from this author. Whomsoever they may be, if they are not already in a position to, they should consider coming forward so they can work along with the relevant bodies to foster positive change. The issues brought forward are very timely, as well as very honest. It is about time we hold everyone accountable and stop shifting blame. We all have a part to play in shaping a society. Good job writer, keep up the good work!

  4. The relocation of the “Family Court” to the High Court Building , to facilitate the over whelming concerns of Mothers/ Fathers neglect in Child support…An industry is created. An Untruth .is also continued.
    ” Marriage exists to bring a man and a woman together as Husband and Wife to be Father and Mother to any children their Union produces.”
    “Marriage of a Living God acclaimed covenant relationship between a Man and a Woman, this LIFELONG sexual exclusive relationship brings children into the world and thus sustains the Stewardship of the earth” WOW”.
    “Marriage is based in the Truth that men and women are COMPLEMENTARY the BIOLOGICAL fact that REPRODUCTION depends on a man and a woman, and the reality that children need a MOTHER and a FATHER..
    re DEFINDING marriage does not simply EXPAND the existing OVERSTANDING of marriage; IT REJECTS THESE TRUTHS..
    Marriage is Society’s least restrictive means of ensuring the well being of children. By ENCOURAGING the NORMS of marriage-monogamy, sexual exclusively and performance THE state STRENGTHENS CIVIL SOCIETY and REDUCES it’s own role-FAMILY COURT as an industry. The future of this country depends on the future of marriage, the future of marriage depends on citizens OVERSTANDING what it is and WHY it matters and demanding that government policies SUPPORT NOT undermine TRUE MARRIAGE..”
    as this is not at the helm past, present ,lets THINK of a SUPPORT practice, based on these truths…The Fathers Mothers struggling in parenting Family court and ideals LET’S honestly collect ALL Child support and re distribute with QUALITY attitudes engulf with LOVE and respect in MIND..SHARE the monies for basic food clothes and nurturing of these children/families shared by ALL in need..A CO-OP (HRA as it functions) in this case COLLECT and SHARE together. .strategy TO instill future Marriage values as the ultimate GOAL.. Food co -ops ( Quality and nutritional foods clothes ( cotton, linen natural materials ) no inferior plastic synthetic tight vulgar sexual oriented clothing NO)THINK DIASPORA < THINK CARICOM THINK AFRICA THINK SIDS" resources This can work. Takes a village to raise a village
    re; Marriage "excerpts from "The Heritage Foundation"

  5. let me break it down Monies collected from Fathers goes into a National ACCOUNT redirected to A National Support system to Support ALL Needed. Then National FOOd clothes etc CO-OP is ONLY distributing Qualities. Values of Living Together, encouraging by cultural ideas” initiation rite” preparing great citizens, developing young men and women to LEARN and Value “DO GOOD and GOOD Follows'(LOve, RESPECT and OVERSTAND TRUE VALUES OF MARRIAGE< this can work certainly an idea to THINK on.

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