LETTER: Court system unfair to fathers paying child support

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Good day please allow me of space on your platform.

Last July my wife and broke up and she asked me to move out from where we were living together, we have 3-year-old daughter. From the day my daughter was conceived in the womb until now, I have been the main provider for her because my wife has been unemployed since February of 2018.

 

During the 9 months of pregnancy, I would take my wife for regular doctors’ visits which would cost $300 sometimes $400.

 

Before our daughter was born, I had to buy her clothes, a brand new stroller, a car seat and a crib which my daughter never slept in 1 night so it just basically went to waste.

 

Up until this day I’m the soul provider for my daughter I would buy her baby stuff pampers, wipes, baby formal, fruits, juice, clothes, shoes ect. If she has to visit the clinic, I would have to provide the taxi fare.

 

I used to give my wife the monies to buy whatever my daughter needs, sometimes I would give her $200 In a week in addition to buying clothes and other essential items like a case of pampers and wipes and I always want my daughter to have the best.

 

After I moved out last July I was still supporting my daughter on a regular basis buying all of her essentials plus clothes and shoes and still giving my wife monies for my daughter ( I have documentations and receipts to prove this).

 

Last October, she made an application in the court for me to pay $150 every week in child maintenance bearing in mind she has been unemployed for the past 3 years and I have been going above and beyond ensuring my daughter needs for nothing.

 

We went to the hearing this morning and both of us represented ourselves and I want to say that I was very disappointed in how the matter was handle the Magistrate made and order that the $150 comes out of salary every week despite the fact that I’ve been consistently supporting my child from day one and I believe that a lot of women out there are abusing the court system just because they want the money or because they want to punish the fathers.

 

It puts a stigma on men when their taken to court for child maintenance because once a man’s is taken to court everyone believes your a bad father and alot of times that’s not the case.

 

I think the court needs to be fair in looking at the facts when dealing with these cases and not just go off what the woman is saying.

 

I have all my receipts and documentation to prove that I have been supporting and maintaining my daughter but the only thing the Magistrate seem to care about today is that she thinks I can afford to pay $150 per week not taking in to consideration I have another child which I support along with my rent and all my other personal expenses.

 

Lastly I would like to say there are a lot of men out there that are suffering silently with no one to really advocate for us all while been scorned by society we need a fair court system where the evidence is being look at and a determination is been made base on the facts rather than what the woman says…heartbroken and suffering in silence.

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45 COMMENTS

  1. Pay the $150 and nothing else. Pay only what is ordered by the court!

    My man baby mother did the same thing .. he use to pay the child day care and because he got with me she got jealous and take him to court. The judge ordered him to pay 150 which is less than he was paying and now she is walking and saying he’s not feeding the child because she has to now come out of pocket where he was helping her .. woman too bad minded

    • The real problem is some of these stupid men can’t keep that little thing between their legs ZIPPERED. I hope he has to pay and pay and pay. Why are you with somebody like him anyway?

      • What part of marrying a woman and providing for her and your child do you consider stupid? Did you even read the letter?

      • Julie it seems that you are a rather bitter person. Why not say tell the woman to keep her business in her draws!!!
        I am a female and I for one think that there are some very wicked women out there.
        The judicial system is for the woman in these cases and not all of them deserve what they are awarded by the courts.

    • I would tend to agree but it’s the child that will suffer and she knows she can do it because he seems to love the child

  2. Word of advice: do not represent yourself in legal matters. While reading one thing stood out is that you clearly know how much is required to maintain your child. The judges amount wasn’t far from it either.

    Legally, you are responsible for 1/2 but as you stated, the mother does not work and the child haffu yam. You also could have asked for custody but if we are honest, most men don’t want full custody…so pay.

  3. You’re doing your duty as a father and a man. Continue. In the courts. Get used to hierarchy of jurisprudence. Children, women, animal then men. Sad to say but men get little justice in these matters. Keep your head up!!!!!

  4. Look, Mister, you play you pay. The court was right. Now some of the scamps out there are gonna mess themselves. If you don’t want any more child support orders, just keep your ugly thing in your pants, always zipped shut. Chuups. Pay up buster. Behave yourself. Zip that ugly thing up.

    • What foolishness is this? Did you even read the man’s article? You should take a read then make a comment about that is more reasonable.

      Smh.

    • Take some reading lessons please, clearly you haven’t read the article or simply can’t read, my heart strongly believes it’s the second one.

    • Why don’t you be quiet. This is exactly what ge is talking about. Man said ge had a problem taking care of his child? No! Shut up! Cup ya hand over ya mouth…and Shut Up! You the only ugly thing that need a lock way

      • I am a mother who actually pays child support to the father of my child. I was ordered to pay $287 based off of my salary. My son I was he provided and care giver but because his father made way more money than me they give him the child which sucks.

    • @ Crazy Kristi : As usual nothing of substance to say .
      What can uglier than the ugly 🦎 iguana that lay next to to you at night ..
      Pity the fool

    • @ Crazy Kristi : As usual nothing of substance to say .
      What can be uglier than the ugly 🦎 iguana that lay next to you at night.
      Pity the fool.

    • @kristi and a hundred friends u sound so ridiculous. Did u read the entire article its a married couple wah u want the man to do lie down nxt to his wife every night and play hermit. How you so sure the man privates are ugly u sound bitter.

  5. Be careful who you marry, be careful who you share a house with and last, be careful who you

  6. My Grand Mother told me be very careful when you are Dating to choose a Wife… some woman Just want to wear the wedding Dress, look Beautiful on that Day….invite alot of Friends. After the wedding ceremony is the real Mckoy. Some women Will play nice útil the Ring…not all women. Women are wired differently, the are more emotionally, some woman can” play nice “until they get what they want. Hope you get the point. If you meet a woman with a Genuine Heart of Love and not listen to gossip from Friends and you Will have a Good wife. No Matter the storm, Hardship she Will stand with you. With Respect to the Child its your duty to take care of him or her… but some women like to spite Men especially if you are in another Relationship by taking you to Court.spite… i dont really like to hear one side of a story, but what you EXPLAINED a reasonable person Would not take you to Court…they Would find a means to work our something. My Advice to you work Hard and take care of your Child .

    • “My grandpa told me to take heed when allowing any man into your life. A man just wants to have a maid, cook, babysitter, incubator and pumpum machine. Watch out for those mamas boys who are “surrogate husbands” for their moms and need to run every single decsion by their momma first. She controls him and controls his life. The umbilical chord is still pshychologically attached to her. If you meet a real man, hold on to him and be loyal and faithful and make his life one of peace.”

  7. Daddy it don’t sound to me like you got an unfair judgement. Of course the court is concerned about what you can afford to pay. She doesn’t work so depending on the age of the child. Daycare fees are not yet a consideration. Seems you will be paying less now than what you have been paying all along. Time will prove that this was the wrong move on your child’s mother part. Her actions may have been fueled by vengeance but it has backfired. Take care of your baba pay what you’re ordered to and be selective about what else you choose to give. This was decided in your favor sir. Let the dust settle and look at it again. You’ll be alright. Remember the money is for your child’s welfare not for the mama. She is just the go between.

  8. Some women are too damn wicked. Dem eyes long and jealousy gets the best of them while they turn Fathers into monsters.

    • Natasha, some men are also “too damn wicked”. They can’t keep it in their pants. You play, you pay. What happened to morals??? Zip it.

  9. Honestly something is really wrong at that court. Not because they make you pay, but because the they take the side of the woman Only.
    For example.
    My going through the same thing and if he doesn’t pay she right away calls them and they right away send a notice to him saying that if he doesn’t pay he is going to jail. That is crazy.
    Because the court is on her side she abuse of the court system which is really bad and one side.

    I think that the court should never play one side or favorite. They should do justice in a fare way.

    There so many fathers out there suffering because of the ONE SIDE COURT SYSTEM.

    We need to do something about this.

    • Do you think that a father who is suppose to be paying let’s say 100 dollars a week having a balance of 4500 of one who’s suppose to pay 75 dollars a week having a balance of 9600. Come on man. Every case is different and fathers need to be responsible. What should the court do in instances like these just allow the monies to get larger. Wouldn’t it be better paying the 75 dollars weekly instead of having to find 9000 dollars. Some women are spiteful and some fathers are plain wicked.

  10. I noticed he never stated how much he makes monthly. Anyway the courts number one interest is the child. If the writer was not upset, he would agree with the decision of the court. The mom is not working and imagine the costs if you had to contribute to day care which is around 25.00 a day. Pampers at 50 with 24, which won;t last 2 weeks. Food costs will amount to more than 150 a week, Guy step up, be there for your child. Try to leave no room for predators, to take avantage

  11. I’ve been unjustly dealt with about same issue by this same unfair court system. Even though money comes out of my salary every month towards child support, the mother still going around telling people I’m not feeding or looking after my children.

    • Look Jack, you play you pay. Next time you’ll be more careful. What you sow you reap. The court system is NOT unfair. It is just. Who else will look after the interests of the child.

  12. Sometimes things like this drives men to not take care of their children. Suppose he get fedup and only pay the $150 a week?

    • What kind of FATHER would allow ´things likes this´to cause him to abandaon his child? Did you knock your head somewhere boss? He was a willing participant in the love-making, so now he has to do what is his to do. If he does not want to pay, then remain a virgin or stay celibate and do some volunterr work with the elderly.

  13. I am really sadden by what’s really happening here. I read 📚 your story and I am not I am really gobing you the benefit of the doubt that it all went down like that, but why when you explaining to the Magistrate that he or she don’t understand cause you areal going above and beyond. That child is so lucky 😢 and would encourage you to continue to look for the child just that I no would just drop all the extra amount of buying that I am doing not as a spite but seeing you doing so much for the child. If you were not doing nothing now I could understand.

  14. Proud of you for being there for your child. Just continue to do so. Infact I believe it’s cheaper for you now since it’s just 150 per week. You have no clothes, food snacks to buy. Yes your saying you have been but something must have led her to the courts. Your a good dad continue being there for your child that’s all.

  15. Do you think that a father who is suppose to be paying let’s say 100 dollars a week having a balance of 4500 of one who’s suppose to pay 75 dollars a week having a balance of 9600. Come on man. Every case is different and fathers need to be responsible. What should the court do in instances like these just allow the monies to get larger. Wouldn’t it be better paying the 75 dollars weekly instead of having to find 9000 dollars. Some women are spiteful and some fathers are plain wicked.

  16. First off, there wasn’t anything wrong with the judges decision. The purpose of going to the court is to get, as a legal order, a certain amount of maintenance. While you were admirably supporting your child prior to the judgement, that does not remove the need for the judge to specify, legally, how much you will be obligated to pay.

    Secondly, GET LEGAL REPRESENTATION. It concerns me that you point out where you “feel” the judge erred, rather than referring to law. Get legal advice, understand the court system, and if financially possible, have a lawyer represent you. But at the very least, seek legal advice rather than going to the court on your own without understanding the law.

    • Maybe he gave the current baby-mama-in-waiting all his money so he cant afford to pay a lawyer. sowing wild oats is not cool or cute. Jumping from woman to woman and bed to bed is unbecoming of being a real man. Keep willy under control and think with the right head i.e. the one on your neck, not the one in your boxers.

  17. I am reading the comments and wondering to myself if the article was even look at or is it just the opening sentence. Cause I really can’t believe the comments

  18. This is nothing paying $150.00 ,for your child cuz a mother puts her life on the line to bear your child , deforming her body which will not be the same from the time you met her , and the 24 hr being a mom while you still , galavanting your life have put into thought that she wants to give your child the best care and love as possible , common being a mom is not easy peasy , ok so get your act together and take care of your child while the mom is being super woman . You wouldn’t survive a day in those shoes. 😡😡😡

  19. Hi,

    I am a paralegal and I must say, after reading the letter the facts do not add up to what the author is trying to portray.

    Firstly, his daughter is 3 and his wife has not been working since 2018. 2022 just started so do the math: 2021 – 2018 = 3. Obviously the wife no longer works as she is taking care brb of their child full time. Thus, he has an obligation to his wife and child in those circumstances.

    Secondly, he stated that he has been consistently paying the wife $200 weekly as maintenance while providing other financial needs for his daughter. Now why would the wife take him to Court for $150 weekly. In my line of work, most of the women I have dealt with ask the Court for more than what is being given not less. I do not believe he is telling the truth. His “consistent maintenance” statement to my mind is a lie.

    Thirdly, My brother, if your wife not working who has to pay for the doctor’s visits, and baby necessities? Are we not aware of something? Is the baby not your child?

    Lastly, the Court does not just make an order because any man Jack ask for it. I am very familiar with the filing system and the documents required by both parties when litigating a case. The Court after being informed of your employment status (Job description, salary etc) and your monthly expenses will make a fair determination of the maintenance to be paid.

    Again, giving my opinion based on my knowledge of the court system and line of work and reading the gentleman’s letter.

  20. I fully agree with “Julie” in this one instance. The Court is on the CHILD’s side.
    So stop whining….. Shut up and pay up! You boasted that you used to pay in excess of $200 per week before you left or were asked to leave. The Court cut you a break, boy. Take it and run to wherever you now call home.

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