I think my husband is cheating with his Ex


Dear Kate,

My husband left our home during Hurricane Irma to go to ensure the home of his children’s mother was safe, even though the children are in the U.S.

I don’t want to sound like a jealous wife but I suspect something could be happening between them.

Why would he even care whether she is alright or not when they are separated for over six years now. Am I being unreasonable?

I just feel in my spirit there was more to this help than meets the eye. And it took him almost three hours at her house. I timed him.

He said he had to help her board up and secure the place but I am thinking maybe that was not the only “boarding” going around. What do you think?


Dear VEX,

You do sound like a jealous wife. A cold hearted one at that. If your now husband has children with this woman I see nothing wrong with checking up on her during a serious storm like Irma irrespective of whether the children are actually in the home or not. She is their mother. It seems you have trust issues with your husband and you need to work on that.

To even time your husband is evidence of some serious insecurities and I believe this will destroy your marriage, consider that it has already started to affect you.

Seek some help. I cannot help you with your insecurities or lack of trust. But I can suggest that you seek professional help.


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  1. I agree that the lady is insecure and jealous but oh gosh Kate, you’re kinda harsh with some of your replies. I think your answers can sometimes be a little more easy on the person seeking advice.

  2. I also agree that your reponse was very harsh. Yes, she sounds jealous but you should have told her to discuss her feelings with her husband.

  3. The lady is not insecure she is smart. Six years they have broken up and she has not found a man yet that can help she board up she house. After all the kids are in the U.S.A so obviously they don’t need to talk until the kids return. Lady trust your gut something is going on

  4. Why didn’t the wife go help him board up her house? That way maybe her mind would be at ease and they would’ve been back home much quicker.

  5. This is the problem with ppl seeking advice …..
    They want to be cuddled …no this isnt baby daycare DIRECT answers ONLY …the truth hurts so if u carnt handle the truth even though its harsh n direct ..then na ask ..this is why ppl tell LIES instead of truth …..Kate shouldnt need to cuddle any grown ass persons seeking advice….Kate answered correctly….TRUST IS THE FOUNDATION of ALL RELATIONSHIPS (MARRIAGES FRENSHIPS) EVERY RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD BE BUILT ON TRUST….and if she so insecure its her HUSBAND duty to reassure her its platonic….

    Some women carnt help but be suspicious of their men/ husband cos
    How u get a man is how u loose a man
    So if he/ she cheats when u met dem u will always be UNEASY

  6. I have a policy with family & frens ..they know this VERY well…dnt ask me 4 the TRUTH if your not willing to hear it n I ain’t curbing my delievery .to soothe/pacify you…….the cold hard truth whether irs abrasive n aggressive but its the TRUTH …..

    This is the reason man lies if they told women the truth
    De bexxx
    LIES are better appreciated

  7. A person having trust issues and insecurities does not mean something is wrong with the person and need professional help. Her husband could well be behaving in ways which gives her reason not to trust him and for her feeling unsecured in her relationship. I agree with “k” she needs to discuss with her husband how his behaviour/actions is making her feel. If he loves her he will listen to her, be very open with her on the matter and possibly make some adjustments. You may actually find when this is done both persons would meet each other halfway and the relationship grows stronger.

  8. Kate isn’t running a bakery. Why should she sugar coat it. If you can’t stand the heat stay out the kitchen. Besides I didn’t read one sentence that was harsh. Not one. That wife should understand regardless of years her safety an healthy is beneficial to his children.

  9. Mrs. Vex, if you feel that something is going on then something truly is. You live with him and there are signs that tell you that something is up, so trust your gut feeling. If he wasn’t boarding up by his ex he probably was doing it elsewhere. Question him about it and be sure to keep his answer and reaction in your memory bank because it will form part of your evidence. I suspect that he may have been unfaithful or dishonest before or he has done something which has caused you to be worried and you are only human. Keep a very close eye on him. The truth will come out eventually.

  10. Is this an ex-girlfriend, or an ex-wife? If ex-wife, she is none other than the first-lady (assuming that was his first marriage). This the concubine needs to understand that and stop kidding herself.

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