When it comes to the husband’s mother, things could become a little heated at times. It is far worse if the husband is a past lover. The mother-in-law may even make critical remarks about her own mother-in-law to the children, if she isn’t too busy with her own family. Even in the best of circumstances, a mother’s relationship with her daughter-in-law is not always ideal. When it comes to her son’s increased interest in sports, the wife’s mother is almost always passionately opposed to it. First and foremost, this is associated with a feeling of jealousy. Even if you choose to file an online divorce in Virginia it is still a trauma for everyone. We’ll talk about the relationship between the ex-mother wives and the ex-daughter wives who divorced their husbands. Counseling on how to strengthen connections with the mother of the former spouse and a general view of divorce and in-laws is provided by a psychologist.
Knowing why something is happening is usually a good place to start when trying to figure out what the problem is. Various causes, such as the disintegration of the son’s family, a sense of impotence, or even a natural tendency toward overprotection, may be concealed by the mother-in-bad law’s actions and behavior.
Reason #1. Loss of power
When the ex-mother-in-law looks at her children and grandchildren, she sees a continuation of herself rather than a distinct individual, according to her. She becomes concerned about not being able to be there in the lives of her most cherished grandchildren when her daughter-in-law relocates them to another city and leaves them in the care of a nanny when the young couple divorces and this concern grows more as time goes on. She places the onus of blame fully on the shoulders of her daughter-in-law, and she doesn’t waste any time in chastising her for it.
Reason number 2. Overprotection
The majority of the time, older people assume that they are more informed or at the very least more experienced than their younger counterparts. When grandparents use pejorative language to characterize the mother of their grandchildren’s children, they are doing so out of care for them and to demonstrate to them how not to act in the future.
Reason number 3. Feeling of helplessness
This year’s gatherings were significantly lower in number. She becomes “friends with mom” against her will as her mother-in-law tries all she can to obtain her grandchildren’s attention in any way she can.
Reason number 4. Fear of being alone
Many mothers resist the joining of their developed children because they begin to feel unwanted and do not want to share their child with a stranger, which is understandable. When grandchildren are born, grandmothers devote all their time and energy to raising the little ones and raising their importance. As a result, when children stay with their mother, they experience anxiety because they are afraid of being abandoned by their father.
DOTTING THE «I”
If you want to ensure that everything is done correctly, you must sit down with your mother-in-law alone, gather your courage, and discuss things. Clarify what behaviors are acceptable in your relationship and what behaviors are not acceptable in your relationship. For example: Express your unhappiness with the behavior in a courteous and professional manner, but do so in a respectful and professional manner.
The law of the mother-in-provocations should be observed when one is presented with an assault and one should retain their cool and abstain from breaching the law. Keeping in mind that jumping from one extreme to the other will only make situations worse is critical to remember.
SMILE AND WAVE
The disposition of a mother’s children may be influenced by her own. If your children observe you maintaining your composure and being unbiased, they will be better prepared to deal with the grandmother’s nasty remarks.
Although you are no longer her daughter-in-law, demonstrate to your children that it is possible to maintain relationships by praising your mother-in-law more regularly in front of them as well as in private conversations with them. Regardless of what she says and her attitude towards divorce and inlaws, you should completely disregard it. It’s important to remember that people who are happy with their life are less prone to participate in violent behavior. By giving her a pet, such as a dog or a kitten, you are not requiring her to learn how to fight with your family.
WE INVOLVE THE EX-SPOUSE AS ASSISTANTS
If conversing with your spouse does not appear to be working, it may be essential to phone her or him. Create an atmosphere in which it is clear that you are willing to maintain communication with your grandparents, so long as doing so does not have a bad influence on the children’s minds or on your connection with them. Allow them to make an effort for the sake of the children, even if it is challenging for them to do so.
TALK WITH CHILDREN
To be able to build their own happy families in the future, your children will need a positive role model that they can look up to for direction on how to act in suitable situations. Therefore, addressing the grandmother’s behavior and words with the children, as well as guessing on the reasons for her actions, will be good.
It is not acceptable to say such things just because your grandmother is unhappy or has a different point of view on the matter. During the course of the conversation, refrain from criticizing, condemning, or speaking ill of the grandmother. This is also a significant figure in their respective lives. Furthermore, by observing your conduct today, your children will learn how to treat their own parents in the future.
LET GO OF THE SITUATION
Last but not least, your mother-in-law may only “mirror” your own attitude toward the situation by the acts she does. Perhaps you are still blaming yourself for the divisions within your family. In this situation, the mother-in-law confirms your assumptions about her daughter. It might be that it’s time to let go and let someone else step into your shoes. If the answer is yes, don’t get caught up in the past, don’t get caught up in the past. The only two alternatives are to express gratitude and to let go.
Numerous psychologists feel that cutting all links with your husband’s family, friends, and acquaintances will aid in your ability to swiftly forget about your marriage dissolution. Because of this, a woman is able to recuperate more swiftly after her divorce and begin a new family more soon. “What should you do if you happen to run across your ex-mom-in-law at the office?” Employees should maintain their normal contact information in this case. The consequences of a divorce should not have an adverse effect on professional relationships. Communicate only about work-related issues, and refrain from discussing personal issues at all.