Dear Kate, my married lover refuses to leave his wife


Dear Kate,

I am having an affair with a man who keeps promising to leave his wife and he wouldn’t.

He tells me she is ungrateful and he is unhappy and he is only around because of their two children.

It has been four years now and I’m running out of patience.

I cannot go anywhere with him because he claims if his wife finds out she will divorce him and have him pay alimony and child support.

But what I’m not getting is why he would go to functions with her and parties and dates if he is so unhappy.

He tells me she cannot cook and she is lazy yet he still married to her for 25 years. What should I do? Should I leave him?



Dear Frustrated,

Are you seriously that gullible? Why are you coming to me for advice when clearly the writing is on the wall?

The man doesn’t and will not leave his wife and quite frankly, I don’t believe his wife is any of the things he says she is because according to you, he won’t divorce her and he still goes out in public with her.

Listen, if a man truly wants you, nothing will keep him away. You have found yourself in a situation where you are simply being used.

I’ve heard people call it names like “side chick” or “mistress”. Call it what you like, you are at the losing end.

Quit being this married man’s play toy. It is obvious that his loyalty is to his wife and family.

You deserve better and the only way you will get what you deserve is to walk away and know your worth.





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  1. I am not Kate or pretend to be an expert in Relationships- But if i were you,i would put my running shoe on and get moving.. That relationship is going no where.Why do you want a married man anyway,especially one that,s clearly dishonest,had he not been a user and a plain out cheater,he would know that he cannot have you both at the same thing..Get moving.

  2. “I cannot go anywhere with him because he claims if his wife finds out she will divorce him and have him pay alimony and child support.” – dummy if he leaves her for you he will be paying that anyway so his excuse is BS. Clearly he doesn’t want to leave her.

  3. Girl your a total $%& you really believe the crap from that man ….like really and u stayed there for 4 flipping years you need to stay 4 more yrs …keep it up

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