Dear Kate: My boyfriend is a teenager


Dear Kate,

I’ve recently come out of a relationship and I’ve been having sexual encounters with a teenage boy.

He recently got out of a bad relationship and feels a type of way. He wants to be with me but I don’t want to be in a relationship so fast. I’m 23 and I’ve been through a lot.

Recently he invited me to a get-together with his friends for his birthday. He said he wanted us to spend time together on his special day. The day of his birthday came and he came to pick me up. He said he had to pick up a few more people and that was it. My cousin also came with me so it would have been two girls and the guys (he was picking up).

We pull up in Gray’s Farm (the ghetto) and I’m a bit high-classed; I’m nuff and felt a bit awkward.

He came out the car and then returned with two girls. I was highly upset. He came in the car and set up an arrangement of how we would sit. His older brother was driving and my cousin would sit in the front. He would sit in the back with me and one of the girls would sit on the other. (BUT HE WOULD SIT NEXT TO ME).

It went horribly. They sat next to me so I got upset and went in the front passenger seat and my cousin sat at the back. He was directly behind of me so I was watching him. He and one of the girls were deeply engrossed in a conversation. I kept getting heated. So I went on his phone secretly to see if I saw messages between him and another girl. I didn’t see any.

The car stopped at a gas station and I came out and open the door and told him get out. We got into an argument. We continued on to the party, he knew I was upset about the situation, he told me to calm down and just stop overreacting. So I calmed down and I realised I was thinking too much into it.

So he came and talked to me while sitting and he said the girls are from his high school. (He said he never talked to the worthless girls there). I got suspicious but tried not to care.

The night went on and he spent majority of the night talking to the girls. Me and my cousins and the girl and her friend were in separate areas since I tried fighting them earlier.

He stayed talking to them for majority of the night. So I got upset and said I was leaving. I started walking down the road and he didn’t care apparently. BUT then when I reached far down he started calling me and I stood up and he came to me, he started kissing me and stuck his hand in my front and tried playing with me, so I pulled away thinking he only wanted me sexually. (I took his virginity by the way). So I left since he went back over by the girls and I didn’t say good bye.

I cussed him off when I reached home. He read my message and said nothing. He called me at 11 am the next day saying I was acting up and I acted like I wanted to kill everyone. So I told him leave me alone since it seemed like he just wanted sex. He said that wasn’t the case. Ever since then we haven’t talked properly and he occasionally messages me saying he wanna have sex and I’m just lost. I don’t know what to do. I need to know if I’m crazy. I need advice.

Help me Kate.


Dear “Help Me”:

I would’t say you are crazy but this whole episode had me wondering if I am the crazy one to even be thinking of giving advice on how to get out of this maze.

He is a teenager. You took his virginity and you are 23. It seems to me you have found yourself entangled in a rigmarole. A little silly childish scene that you need to get out of. Obviously you are dealing with a child and hence children play games.

You on the other hand need to put your life in check. At 23 furthering your education should be top on your agenda. Trying to figure out what you want to become or where you need to be is a good way of starting.

You definitely shouldn’t be taking teenagers virginities and hopping into cars with them, stuck in the middle of two women like a sandwich and being ignored.

Get a grip. Leave the “boy” alone. He’s probably not over the fact that a 23 year old took his virginity.

I am sorry if it seems I am making fun because I am not. I just keep reading the story and it gets crazier every-time.

Take my advice. Leave the person`s child to be a child and you wise up and take charge of your life before its too late.


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  1. Shame! If this was 23 year old man involved with a teenager, it would be classified as disgusting and maybe a crime. After that rediculous encounter with this boy , do you really need to be toldone that it’s a bad situation and you should leave? Shameful!

  2. u never said how old is the child in this ,you are pretty young also…..if u are thinking of being with a man from 16 to 42 hey let me just give u a chance 16 to 36 and think he is going to be serious about a relationship then you out of your mind and the same for a man, no woman will just see u alone trust me on that women are trainable but not changeable……so just have fun when u can be safe and dont get your heart tangled in matters of your mind….everybody is going to fu&#&&ck am sorry just been real…as i said everyone cheats every tham one,and if you find one that said they never cheated they be changing relationships faster than a bloodied pad….and the reason for that they we leave u for the next dic or pus….in

  3. I feel like these people who write to Kate already know what they should be doing. Seriously girl? You’re too high-class and nuff to be seen in Gray’s Farm but you see no issues with screwing a high school student and trying to fight high school girls because they are talking to the same man pickney that you DON’T want a relationship with?

    And on top of that, you get bex because “he just wants you sexually”? This woman needs therapy and possibly Jesus. She might also be a statutory rapist depending on the age of the child. Wtf.

  4. 1: You are 23yrs old and recently came out of a relationship
    2: You’ve been through a lot
    3: You are a bit “high class” & “nuff” however, you took a teenager’s virginity
    4: On your way to his birthday get-together you came out of the car and had an argument
    5: You kept getting heated and got suspicious but tried not to care
    6: You left and didn’t say goodbye
    7: You cussed him off when you reached home
    8: You told him to leave you alone since he just wanted sex
    9: He denied that he only wanted sex, yet he occasionally messages you asking for sex
    10: You are not sure what to do, or if you are crazy and you need help

    Well my dear, of all the things you mentioned, there is one thing that makes a whole lot of sense to me (YOU NEED HELP)

  5. Lmaoooooo….since you “nuff n think you high class”
    Why u f… a teenager ……

    Really !!!! You dnt know what to do???
    Hop off hus teenage … n get a LIFE
    REMEMBER …you dnt care about him n he ONLY wants sex

    So rub pepper on ur crotches

  6. LMAO…listen, I can’t with this letter today…and these comments…LMAO.

    But on a real, the police should see if they can investigate this mess, just in case this child is under the age of consent.

  7. Ppl!! Ppl!!!
    Salassie I talking …..

    All THE class she tink she hab so…
    Yet after ALL that ..she n she nuff classy self
    CLEARLY dnt have no CLASS REALLY cos,she till ah pree him knowing is ONLY sex him want ….

    The youngin hab she sprung or she jus UGLY and nobody want she ….

    I believe the latter…

  8. what a woman! forgive the youth. He is just a youth and that is how they behave.Your relationship with him can grow into something worthwhile. If he is not under age, wait! Both of you wanted each other for the same thing ,so forgive him and move on.Either get another man closer to you in age or wait until he grows up.You are about 10 years older ,so when your are 30 he will be 20 when you are 55 he will be 45 then there could be no complaint.The choice is yours.Get on with your life!

  9. Wait……did I miss a chapter in this story? How in the world are you able to determine that the young lady is about 10 years older than the guy? The thing is…… if she is 23 and he is 13 then there is definitely cause for concern. If the disparity in age is correct, then that explains why the guy is the way he is. He’s just a child and should not be having sex in the first place. I hope there is some kind of error here. SMH

  10. Kate I read that ridiculous letter and she herself is mentally a child bout she is high class and nuff, yet still a little boy put his hand in your crutch, stuck his tongue down you throat, remind me who is ghetto. If you were so nuff how in gods name coulg u sit down in that car. Gal u high crazy.

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