DEAR KATE: I have a woman who just won’t pay her bills


Dear Kate,

My girlfriend has a job that pays her well but she just wouldn’t pay her bills.
Instead, she invests in Brazilian weaves and expensive clothes.

She would take loans at Fast Cash and other places but renege on her payments.

And because I love her I would clear those debts.
Nobody in Antigua and Barbuda has more clothes, shoes, makeup, and handbags than her.

I like a woman who takes care of herself but Kate, she just hates paying her bills and I have to end up paying them.

APUA; internet…once it’s disconnected she comes crying and I run and pay it.
Sometimes I feel she’s using me but I don’t know. I’m just concerned that such a beautiful; intelligent, well put together woman like that can live this way.


Hello Bay

You need to stop paying this woman’s bills and let her sleep in the dark and without wifi.

It’s because she knows you pick up the slack every time that she is refusing to be responsible.

Stop being a fool in love. Any woman who loves you won’t go on like that.

You may need to begin to reconsider this relationship.

This woman needs to decide what’s important to her but you shouldn’t have to suffer financially while she’s trying to make her mind up.


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  1. Dear Bay,
    She is addicted, so its not you, its she.
    Get her some counseling as any addiction can lead to serious manipulation of others.
    And yes, you better believe that there is someone in this country with more stuff than she. So don’t give up on her just yet.

  2. You are her enabler, your self-esteem is low, you are no longer a man as she has use what’s between her legs to control you and you feel that if you don’t pay her bills, she will not be with you, you are the one who need to seeking professional mental health counseling.

  3. Well I guess this is what they mean when they say love is blind. The woman knows your weakness and so she continues to be financially irresponsible because as Kate says you will “pick up the slack.” This girl must be laughing at you with her friends saying you fooly. Better believe once u stop paying those bills the relationship is over. I hope it works out it your favor.

  4. U dusty men are always complaining these days to pull yall wallets but not your (private parts). Men were meant to work and take care of the bills. If u love her so much help her be more responsible it will work out well for the both of u. After all, most of u men fall in lust and not love. Take what u get it maybe karma….

    • LOL! It’s about time woman get something from man. Men always knuckling and badplaying women. My advice to the writer is to have a serious talk with her and encourage her to make sound financial choices. Keep loving her and support her as she works to change her habits.

  5. dear bay, number of times there are childish women that dont appreciate what a good man does and continue to take advantage of them, because she knows you will always try to make her happy she takes advantage of that. You will find someone better if she doesnt pull up her big woman panties.

    As a young woman that has been through hell with men, I hate to see other woman who have good man take advantage of them.

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