Dear Kate, I don’t know the father of my unborn child


Dear Kate,

I don’t know who the father of my unborn baby is. And before you judge me, hear me out.

My boyfriend of 12 years cheated on me and I was angry. I went out looking for comfort in the wrong places and I had unprotected sex with a man under the influence of alcohol.

It turned out I got pregnant. I don’t know if it is my boyfriend’s baby or the one-night stand’s.  My boyfriend and I are back together, getting married actually.

He asked me to be his wife after he found out I was pregnant. Now, I am too ashamed to say what I did. But I am worried the baby may not be his. And it’s easy to know because I cheated with one of these Spanish men and my boyfriend is black.


Dear Helpppp,

You first need to be honest with your husband to be and take it from there. I am not sure if paternity tests can be done in Antigua and Barbuda while a woman is pregnant.  But with technologies these days, I am pretty sure there might be a way.

Your husband to be will not be happy but explain to him it was a mistake, just like the one he made when he cheated.

If the baby belongs to your Spanish one-night stand, then he needs to know. If it is for your fiancé then that would be a plus for you. Whichever way, you can’t continue to keep this a secret.


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  1. Yu gyal, hush yu mouth and wait it out. Eef d pickney Black, yu lucky, and LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE. Eef e red wid curly hair, yu ded. Nutten yu can do. Divorce quietly and look for a step daddy…

  2. Yu Gyal… Hush yu mouth and wait it out. Eef d pickney BLACK, yu lucky. LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE. Eef e red wid curly hair, yu goose cook. Just divorce quietly and look for a step daddy..

  3. The way I see it he cheated on you and deserved you giving away the goods. I agree with Frank, wait it out and see. If the baby is black you good. If it turns out to be the Spanish man’s child just let your fiance know what happened and just be prepared to accept that he might want to call things off. Sometimes these things work out for the good.

  4. Sometimes i really wonder THE LEGITIMACY OF THE people who write these ?s…..are they real people with real situations or people seeking attention due to lack of jobs?

  5. Bad advice Frank Southwell- Woman to Woman i would sit him down and tell him,not the easiest thing to do but the right thing.Do you know the chaos that will be created getting married then finding out after this child is born that he is not the father? Tell him the truth,he cheated and you forgave him,if he loves you he should forgive you to,you may be surprised that even the child turns out to be not his biologically it wont matter to him,but if its kept a secret,it becomes deception and adds to the hurt he will be feeling. Another point to note,Women should always be careful about sleeping with someone on the rebound and for revenge, Men usually have nothing to worry about after one night stands,they go home and go to bed-for the woman it can turn out to be an endless night like this one.

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