COMMENTARY: Will men speak out against domestic violence?

Melissa Martin

To prevent and stop violence against women, men in every country on planet earth need to stand up and speak out. Males of all races, religions, and cultures. Married, single, or partnered males. Politicians, police, and preachers. Young, middle-age, or elderly. Males from all socioeconomic backgrounds. All males—everywhere.

Mothers, sisters, and daughters are victims of domestic violence. Wives, live-in partners, and girlfriends are victims of domestic violence. Relatives are victims of domestic violence. Neighbors are victims of domestic violence. Teenagers are victims of dating violence. Children are victims of family violence. 

Throughout history it’s been women at the forefront for change at the grassroots level as they marched for police, the courts, and the government to pass and enforce laws to prevent and intervene in family violence. 

Where are the male voices? Why aren’t men involved in preventing domestic violence? Will men listen to men? 

“Now, when it comes to men and male culture, the goal is to get men who are not abusive to challenge men who are,” proclaimed Jackson Katz at TEDxFiDiWomen. He continued, “We need more men with the guts, with the courage, with the strength, with the moral integrity to break our complicit silence and challenge each other and stand with women and not against them.”

Journalist for The Guardian, Anna Moore interviewed Patrick Stewart (Star Trek’s Captain Picard) and the Hart brothers at a 2018 domestic violence charity event before they took the stage to speak. Moore asked why these three men are speaking out. 

Why? “Because domestic violence is a man’s problem…We are the ones who are committing the offences, performing the cruel acts, controlling and denying. It’s the men,” Patrick Stewart commented after sharing that his father abused his mother.

Why? “To tackle domestic abuse, you need to look at masculinity,” Luke Hart asserted. “Our father’s need for control came from his beliefs on what it means to be a man. I think most men – like me, before this happened – don’t realize how dangerous it is.” In 2016 in a small town in England, Lance Hart shot Claire, his wife, and 19-year-old daughter Charlotte, four days after the women had left him. Both died. Ryan and Luke Hart have become advocates against domestic violence. 


A CALL TO MEN is internationally recognized for training and educating men to embrace and promote a healthy, respectful manhood.  The organization’s approach is grounded in the social ecological model, advocated by the Centers for Disease Control, as a framework for primary prevention of gender-based violence.  

A CALL TO MEN partners with schools, universities, corporations, government, social service agencies, military installations, communities to end all forms of violence and discrimination against women and girls. 

A CALL TO MEN educates men all over the world on healthy, respectful manhood.  Embracing and promoting a healthy, respectful manhood prevents violence against women, sexual assault and harassment, bullying and many other social ills. 

A CALL TO MEN is a violence prevention organization and respected leader on issues of manhood, male socialization and its intersection with violence, and preventing violence against all women and girls.

Men that live on all continents in every country and in every home need to speak out both personally and publicly againstdomestic violence. Men need to speak to men. Fathers need to speak to sons. Now is the time for a planet-wide movement: Men Against Domestic Violence. 

Men, are you listening?

Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, educator, and therapist. She lives in


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  1. Will women speak out against domestic violence against men?

    There are many women who hit their husbands, beat their husbands and even kill their husbands.

    When will the ‘women rights’ movement start to care about men who are hurt by women?


    Yes, this is undoubtedly true ‘…real rastaman.’

    Many have called it the ‘…Battering Syndrome.’

    Agreed that both sexes shall be called upon to end violence against each other.

    Even so, men seemed almost always to be the dominant ones in inflicting violence or causing total elimination of their partners.

    Know that when women get the upper-hand, the ‘…battering rams’ are often made to batter no more.

    Remember the gruesome story of the married couple ‘…John and Lorena Babbitt?

    She had reportedly ‘…clipped off an organ off his body’ that may have been a bother to her.’
    [Wikipedia: November 8, 1993].

    Recently in St. Vincent and the Grenadines, a female left her partner with with a wound on a similar organ that ‘…required 16 sutures (stitches) [IWN: July 17, 2018].

    Remember also businessman ‘…Morrad Modle Ghonim ‘Ayoushe.’ Convicted and serving life in prison for allegedly contracting a killer to murder his ‘…then teen-aged wife Victoria Ghonim’ [Whittier News: USA: July 12, 2018].

    Not sure if violence against the sexes can stop by mere appeals or incarceration.

    Lessons however, can be taught to help in reducing it.

  3. Dominant or not it cannot be fixed by trying to fix one side. The issue is complex and most people know but wishes to focus on one side. If that is the case it won’t be fixed at all. DV is between partners or former partners or siblings or persons who one share some relationship? Both sides need to be analyzed and a solution to the issue will be closer than simply saying well the brutes, batterer, crazy man, overzealous; is the problem and he need fixing. The devil does come at people in all disguises at time as a beautiful lady or a handsome man. Am sure in having therapy with couples one will see all the intricacies that would trigger the emotions of the perceived aggressor? By the way there’s a thing call bipolarism. I am familiar with it being predominant in women but can it also be in men? Do hope the GENDER EQUALITY personnel remember the name well.

  4. I can’t believe,,,,I fully agree with the Rasta persons comment.
    I have a female,,that grabs by the throat,then punches and bites in any argument.
    Warned not to touch me….six times or calling the police ( which I’m never able to do ) she still swings.
    We should be able to argue…without it coming to blows.

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