By Brent Simon
Today, Antigua and Barbuda celebrates Independence Day — a day of flags, speeches, and national pride. But let’s be honest: while we cheer freedom, there’s another kind of independence that often gets overlooked — the independence some claim in their personal lives, careers, and relationships. True independence isn’t a hashtag, a declaration, or a performance on social media. It’s understanding the structures, the work, and the scaffolding that keeps your world functioning.
Women, this is for you.
You have fought for equal rights — and you have earned them. You’ve claimed space at every table, demanded voice in every forum, and celebrated the freedoms you’ve won. But here’s a truth rarely spoken: men built the systems that make your modern independence possible. Every law that protects you, every career that is accessible, every convenience that lets you live freely — these were built, maintained, and protected by men for you.
We didn’t build this with you.
We built this for you.
Yet in today’s society, respect for men has become optional. Independence is often mistaken for self-sufficiency, and gratitude has been replaced with entitlement. Too many now speak as though the scaffolding of society magically appeared — as though independence is something you can declare without understanding the foundation it rests on.
Let’s do a little reality check: imagine if all men disappeared today. Power grids fail, transportation stops, food systems collapse, and chaos would spread faster than any Instagram post. Survival would no longer be a hashtag.
Now flip it: imagine if all women disappeared today. The loss would be devastating — emotionally, culturally, and morally — but the machinery of society would still function. Roads still paved. Flights still flown. Systems still managed. Civilization endures, but reproduction does not.
The lesson is clear: independence isn’t just about longevity, rights, or appearances. True independence is understanding interdependence. It’s respect. It’s gratitude. It’s recognizing that men and women should complete each other — not compete with each other.
This isn’t criticism. It’s reality. Somewhere along the line, men stopped being seen as the builders, the protectors, the sustainers — and started being treated like optional extras. Yet when the lights go out, when danger arrives, when society’s scaffolding shakes, it is still the man who holds it together. So before claiming you don’t need anyone, ask yourself: is it independence, or just selective amnesia?
Today, as we raise our flag and celebrate national independence, let’s also reflect on personal independence — the kind that truly matters. Maybe the freedom worth celebrating isn’t the kind that isolates, but the kind that acknowledges contribution.
Because here’s the simple truth:
We are not your competition.
We are your completion.
And until that balance is understood, every claim to independence is just a flag waving in borrowed wind.
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The author needs to read the historical accounts of women’s contributions to many of the technologies he takes for granted assuming them to be developed by men. Just google it. Many inventions by women were not acknowledged, hidden behind men etc. in the past and only came to light in later years. So, no the world we live in did not become that way because of men alone. And, if men ceased to exist, women are just as capable of maintaining the useful parts of it as men are as they did in the past during wars while men were off fighting one another, as they do in many societies growing food for their families etc., as they do in many households where men are MIA. However, there would be no reproduction… Trying to get women to respect men by telling them they are helpless and useless is an exercise in futility. Instead, the author should acknowledge that both men and women are gifted with skills and talents that assist their homes and communities. However, men and women do also have some gender-based complementary tendencies and can work well as a team when BOTH treat one another with mutual respect and appreciation. So, each can survive on their own but together they can achieve greater things for themselves and the world.
The real major difference between men and women is that men’s brains focus better at one task at a time while women’s brains can multitask better. This means that men will do a particular task really well but don’t always see how things are interconnected in the same way that women do. Hence, women do a good job at seeing and planning for all the various needs of a home or community while men do a good job of ensuring that each need is met to a high standard. So, when men and women work together with men listening to women about what needs to be done, and women supporting men in doing things well then things go well. But, when men trivialise women’s concerns about other related things, that is considered toxic, unloving behaviour by women, and when women nag men about a million other things while men are focused on a task, that is considered toxic, disrespectful behaviour by men. Men value being respected whilst women value being loved. If each ignores this difference about the other along with the differences in brain wiring then each side ends up fighting the other. But, both are valuable and work best in a mutually respectful, mutually caring team. Many people are not aware of all this, hence the endless fighting between men and women. Nothing to do with past contributions to building things in society.
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