LETTER: Mom Requests Exclusion of Step-Mom During Visitation Right

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Dear Editor

My boyfriend has been navigating a challenging relationship with his daughter’s mother, which recently involved a court case concerning custody and support.

As part of the arrangement, he is required to pay child support through the legal system, and he has established visitation rights that allow him to spend time with his daughter on the weekends.

However, there’s been ongoing tension because the child’s mother has questioned my presence during those visits.

Despite the fact that my boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time, she has made it clear that she isn’t comfortable with me being around when their child is with him.
She insists that those precious moments should belong solely to father and daughter, effectively excluding me from the family dynamic we’ve begun to form.

Over time, I’ve developed a genuine affection for the little girl, and it’s become a part of my routine to spend weekends with them.

Being a part of her life feels natural, and I cherish the time we share. Yet, now, the child’s mother is making threats to take further legal action to demand I am not present when she comes to see her dad.

She is considering going back to court to seek a judge’s order that would prevent me from seeing her daughter, which has left me feeling anxious and uncertain about my place in this family.

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18 COMMENTS

  1. She sounds like a jealous fool wanting to dictate the man moves . Just give me a break. Ad long as the man spends time with his daughter it doesn’t if his girlfriend is there or not . She needs to stop being petty .

  2. The mother has EVERY RIGHT! Too many cases of emotional, verbal and physical abuse have. Occurred by devious step-parents who sugar up Infront if the parents but terrorize the children behind backs! Please MUST learn to see things OBJECTIVELY; The mother must have been done a favour by having the father out of her life! Why should this woman, who is not even married to the father but is calling herself step-MoMom feel she is entitled to be called parent? Think intelligently!

  3. That is just nonsense,i am in a similar situation the only thing is that they are not at COURT YET but the mother refuse the child of time spending with his dad, i am a woman and i wouldnt want to push hime to take legal actions against her but if it takes that route for hin to be with his son then so ve it,he his bassically the sole provider for the child, and i know if the court gets involve then she loose most to all custody,we as step mothers can be placed i a difficult positions sometimes that paints us all bad,dont get me wrong there are wicked individuals out there who will mistreat a child/children however you give ones the benifit of the doubt before judging.

  4. The mother’s demand has merit and should be respected even though it might be difficult to enforce. The girlfriend is NOT the child’s stepmother and should therefore not force herself into the child’s life, claiming girlfriend’s privileges.
    On the other hand, if the mother prevails, would this mean that Dad will not be able to enjoy the company of his girlfriend, or any girlfriend on the days that he has custody of his child. I certainly wouldn’t want the father to be forced to choose between his daughter and his girlfriend on )weekends.
    By the way, does the mother have male friends of her own who interact regularly with the child in question?

  5. First off I hope you dont live with him or I hope he dont live with you because he is going to have to find somwhere else to spend time with his child because I am not making myself uncomfortable because of a bitter baby momma request…. stand your grounds because one day she will run come begging for favors for that child… she dont get over the man yet… bitter baby mother

  6. That is total bs then if so be the case the father should insist that no step father should be anywhere negro his daughter visi vesa give me a break

  7. Would be good to hear from the Hon. Jamal Pringle on this topic

  8. Sis do yourself a favor. Whether the mom is jealous or not realize that courts do not recognize you. Only the actual mother and father who are tasked with raising their child per court agreement. If he leaves you today guess what you will NEVER see that child again because you have no legal rights to the child. The most I can tell you is focus on your relationship with your boyfriend or husband and let them raise their child. The affection and feelings are because you are with the father nothing wrong with assisting him with care for his child but take a step back focus on YOU, your man and let them parent their pickney. Believe me when I tell you it’s not worth it.

  9. As a mother who has dealt with a difficult girlfriend of my baby’s father, I understand why a mom might hesitate to communicate with her. However, if the girlfriend plays a supportive role in the child’s life and is not harmful, I don’t see any issue with it. It’s important to recognize that there are many wonderful girlfriends who, although not wives, act as loving stepmothers and would never harm a child. As mothers, we need to set aside our differences and accept that our relationships have ended, and it’s time to move on. Our partners will inevitably engage with our children, even if some fathers are uncomfortable with this. Ultimately, we are often the custodial parents responsible for the day-to-day care and decisions regarding our children. Interestingly, I’ve noticed that there seems to be less drama surrounding stepfathers compared to stepmothers, but that’s a topic for another time.

  10. Too much baby mamas and papas in this country. Ladies keep you foot shut till you married. I know this sounds funny because of the society we live in today but we would have less of this kind of stress 1)if ladies acted like ladies and not whores. 2) if men would stop trying to get a piece off of almost everything that wear skirt 3) if fathers and brothers and uncles and even friends would make it their duty to love and protect the females from the predators out there and from our own stupidity. We as females too stupid sometimes.

  11. a JEALOUS, ANGRY, ENVIOUS, BADMINDED, OBSSESSIVE baby mama is one of the biggest threats to a man’s life and livelihood!

  12. While the child is with the father, he has the right to take her to anyone (as long as she safety of the child is not at risk). Anyone can petition the court for something, it doesn’t guarantee it will be granted.

    Your matter is one that I have dealt with before and of course the court expressed they were not able to grant any such order unless evidence of risk of harm (physical, emotional, mental, sexual, etcetera).

    Have no fear, you are safe. But then again, you may be in Antigua, and that is another world. But I am confident you are safe stepmother.

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