LETTER: Gladys and Jamale Scheming in UPP Wonderland

By Political Satirist

If there’s one thing to admire about politics, it’s the sheer ability to turn ordinary events into full-blown theater. Enter the high pitched actor Gladys Potter, our leading lady, who’s not just playing chess with the St. John’s Rural South Branch but appears to be rewriting the entire rulebook mid-game.

First, let’s applaud her dramatic timing. Gladys has barely graced the St. John’s Rural South branch with her presence in the past year—no meetings, no fundraising, no breakfast sales. Yet, suddenly, with her  mic in hand, she is singing in perfect harmony with the UPP Executive’s favorite tune: “Discredit the Branch”. Coincidence? Perhaps. Or maybe, as they say in politics, timing is everything when you’re crafting your next act.

And what’s this talk about her “shadow branch”? Allegedly Potter has said she has her own branch. Sounds like something straight out of a spy novel. Is Gladys secretly moonlighting as a covert operative in the world of clandestine committees? Or is she simply rehearsing for the next season of Game of Thrones: The Rural South Edition?

Let’s not forget the supposed “Veto Plan” by Jamale, the puppet. Rumor has it, no matter who wins the primary in SJRS, the political leader’s wand will magically wave Gladys back into the caretaker seat. It’s as if the primary is just a formality—a talent show where everyone sings, but the judges already have their winner and Gladys is just waiting to be crowned and sashed. Backdoor shenanigans!

Meanwhile, the SJRS branch stands firm, fortified by its young, dynamic chairperson. They’ve read their constitution cover to cover, while Gladys appears to be flipping to the fake chapters titled “How to Overthrow Your Local Branch” and “5 Easy Steps to Avoid the Primary.”

But here’s the twist: Gladys, ever the multitasker, is somehow confused about the details of the primary while allegedly scheming to avoid it altogether. Imagine that!  It’s like showing up to a wedding, saying, “What do you mean I’m the bride? I thought I was just here to throw Pompeii!”

And then there’s the matter of that backdated letter that the UPP General Secretary presented to the branch. Gladys said she could not reach the branch executive, so she missed the deadline and could not submit her letter of intent. Really, who knew time travel was on the UPP’s list of party innovations? Forget constitutional reform—someone hand them a sci-fi award! What a joke!

In the end, this tale is less about political strategy and more about the art of improvisation. The UPP Executive and Gladys seem determined to play the lead roles in a drama that risks turning into farce. Whether this production earns a standing ovation or a collective eye roll from the audience is yet to be seen. How much more damage will this cause in an already fractured Party?

For now, the St. John’s Rural South Branch remains the hero of this story, standing tall against plots, plans, and shadow branches. Stay tuned—this saga is just getting started. Turn over the roast corn and roll up the ashum!

Advertise with the mоѕt vіѕіtеd nеwѕ ѕіtе іn Antigua!
We offer fully customizable and flexible digital marketing packages.
Contact us at [email protected]