Size Matters. It Really Does. by Dr Lester Simon
1. Size matters. It really does. No. This is not X-rated. Yes. It is X-rated. Make up your mind. That’s the point. Make up your mind. Where will you put your X? Are you going to vote? For whom? For what? For which party? When?
2. You are fast asleep. A genie from your bedside lamp appears in your dream. She tells you that you have one wish. One wish to make Antigua and Barbuda great for the first time. You try to wake up. The genie holds you down on the bed and threatens to pour some of whatever she carries in her lamp over your head unless and until you take her seriously, because the fate of the nation depends on your wish.
3. You want to make a wish for more sleep for one thousand and one nights, but the genie reads your sleeping thoughts and says that your thought of sleeping for one thousand and one nights is awfully unoriginal because she herself has just woken up to help Antigua and Barbuda after sleeping for one thousand and one nights. She says she sees our worry about the coming of the North People, and our ancestors sent her to you. Just you.
4. You tell the genie that everyone is saying that with the coming of the North People, we must form the United States of the Caribbean and maybe that should be your wish. The genie tells you that for that to happen, Antigua and Barbuda must conquer some very serious internal political warfare; warfare that might be worse than the effects of the North People. She tells you that the greatest and primary threat to us is internal political tribalism. Then she tells you to think about it; look at the past general elections and do the math. She said she would return the next night to fulfil your wish, but she will only visit you three times in total, so you have two nights left.
5. You wake in cold sweat. You go to your computer. In the last general elections, the ABLP won 9 seats, the UPP won 6, an independent won 1, and the BPM won the 1 Barbuda seat. A total of 17. But wait. The ABLP won 47.06 % of the votes. The UPP won 45.22 %. The Independent won 5.17 %. Leaving out the 1 seat in Barbuda, how can the 16 seats in Antigua be more proportionately allocated based on the percentage of the popular vote? The math reveals that ABLP would win 8 seats, the UPP would win 7 seats, and the independent would win 1 of the 16 seats on Antigua.
6. You go to bed that night, trying very hard to fall asleep for the genie to visit. Eventually, the genie comes, and you are eager to proudly enounce your wish. The genie suggests that you give some more thought to your wish since your thought, as good as it is so far, is incomplete. She says she would return tomorrow night, the final night.
7. That morning, you go back to the computer. Clearly, the prime minister would come from the winners of the eight seats. On reflection, you wonder what would happen in any general elections if the 16 seats in Antigua are shared equally between the ABLP and the UPP, 8, 8? Can it be that an independent candidate, winning one single seat, can decide who becomes the prime minister, including himself? Perish the thought. And what about Barbuda?
8. The third night, you have even more difficulty falling asleep than the night before. Where is this trend of thought going? This is too much pressure. You want to stay awake all night to keep the genie away, but you remember the genie said that your wish will cut out much of the political tribalism that is destroying the nation. This is your chance, your only chance , the only chance for the nation to be great for the first time.
9.You go over the math again. The math is correct, but this time you reach the inescapable conclusion that it must be the voters themselves who directly elect the prime minister. This will be a separate vote from the vote of a representative or a party. We must vote for the prime minister from a list of all the running candidates who want to be prime minister. Brilliant!
10. You put your thoughts together to make one wish to the genie. Sleep is eluding you. You toss and turn and pray for sleep. You count. You count sheep. You count rats, stray dogs, damaged garbage bins, and dilapidated and abandoned buildings in the city. You count vehicles and add extras for the scandalous missing ones. You count votes. You imagine a new Antigua and Barbuda. The hours pass and pass again. Suddenly, you see a flicker of light. The genie is coming. The genie is coming. Finally, Antigua and Barbuda will be saved. With your drooping eyes and tired mind, you pretend to be fast asleep. Nothing happens. Where is the genie?
11. It’s the wee hours of the morning. You want to get up to wee-wee but you dare not. The entire nation depends on you and would surely forgive you all the days of your life for wetting the bed. But no. It’s too late, too early. A soft incandescent light climbs gingerly through the window. It’s the unwelcoming light of daybreak. Dawn approaches, not the genie. The genie is not coming because you are not sleeping.
12. Legend has it that for the next one thousand and one days and nights, you can be seen walking all over Antigua and Barbuda with your eyes closed, fast asleep, indelible ink on one finger (some say two fingers), an X on your forehead, and a lamp in your hand.
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All I can say I wanted more just as a literature Professor said to me in university when I did an essay on DH Lawrence’s novel Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Dr. Simon I wanted more. The genie must come back so we might get answers as to what would be the best electoral system for us, whether our present First Past The Post or Proportional Representation, among other issues. Your article treated a very serious issue in such a profoundly humorous manner. Masterly done.
Your genie already know, that there are other genies granting other individuals the same [wish], and knows that if she grants her wish and the other genies do the same, it will end up being a stalemate for the Nation, as it sits at this perilous #CROSSROAD, knowing the fact that, the SUMMATION of all forces are equal to ZERO upon impact, at the Calabash Fete where size don’t matter to enter and 1001 versions of Hotel California is played.
Jumbee_Picknee aka Ras Smood
De’ole Dutty Peg🦶🏿Garrat_Bastard
Vere Edwards
What the heck…
Your genie already know, that there are other genies granting other individuals the same [wish], and knows that if she grants her wish and the other genies do the same, it will end up being a stalemate for the Nation, as it sits at this perilous #CROSSROAD, knowing the fact that, the SUMMATION of all forces are equal to ZERO upon impact, at the Calabash Fete where size don’t matter to enter and 1001 versions of Hotel California is played.
Let’s see if YouTube releases at lease this version of Hotel California…Hotel Antigua & Barbuda!
If not just google for a listen…because you’ll check in but never check out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09839DpTctU
Jumbee_Picknee aka Ras Smood
De’ole Dutty Peg🦶🏿Garrat_Bastard
Vere Edwards
Corruption has been a cancer to any society, and It has been seen and proven over and over in many countries and in various organizations.
You don’t need a bloody ” Genie” to figure that out..it’s not rocket science.
As hard as it may seem to stamp out, get rid of corruption by prosecuting it to the fullest extent of the law, and you would see great results in any country.
The foundation of the world and it’s rules are already set,and greed has tried and tried to blind us of that noble truth.
That’s why you have to be aware when anyone come bearing gifts.
No one can add to what God has already given all of us, and that is everything.
Satan offered the world to Jesus,but how can you offer something to someone who already have everything already?
When politicians comes with their gifts, just remember what Jesus did. “Get thee behind me Satan”. In other words ” get lost”
Follow the true rules of life people..Jesus way.
The way, the truth, and the life.
@Islanman26…
Let me just mention two names when it comes to to dealing with “corruption,” and it’s still very prevalent in the worlds allegedly best democracy…
A…J. Edgar Hoover
B…Jeffery Epstein
Now, let’s look at two examples where corruption was rife, and ain’t shit was done about them, once again, in the world’s greatest democracy, the USA…
A…The Keating Five and the Wall Street Gangsters
B…The Iran Contra Affair unbroken all the way to Collin Powell and Weapons of Mass Destruction.
All four of the aforementioned were and still are rife to the core with corruption, made many companies and individuals billionaires, has anyone outside of Jeffery Epstein been charged with any crime(s)?
Jumbee Picknee aka Ras Smood
De’ole Dutty Peg🦶🏿Garrat_Bastard
Vere Edwards
Nice article. For a nation as small as ours it might be best if we voted for the single leader and then had a separate vote for senators, similar to the US system. The Leader could then nominate the Heads of the various ministries and have them voted on by the senators.
@Ras
I understand exactly what you’re saying.
The thing that also baffles me is that these things are now popping up in the small islands like popcorn.
We always had a somewhat moral fibre about us .yes we are not perfect, but you and I grew up as such, and that’s why we are the men we are today.
It started somewhere with us, and it was with our parents first.
I remember growing up, for someone to even attempt to calm you are a thief or to be known as a thief, was the biggest shame one can bare.
And don’t even be known as a rapist, you will be looked at as a mad man. Soo many things were soo taboo in the Caribbean, that it was hard to get away with anything.
If you had as much as a skin blemish, or what we called ” a birth mark” someone has something to say about it.
In a place where people talk your business over a shot of rum or under the mango tree playing some dominoes, it was impossible to even go astray or get away with anything.
These days you have people just robbing and stealing like it’s a way of life, from the top to the bottom.
I just can’t understand how we go to where we are in the islands?
I do not condone any type of evil, but America has always been known as the “Babylon” of the universe, so I understand exactly where to look or not to look for such blatant corruption, but right here in these small islands, where people chat so much, it’s just hard to understand how we allow people to get away with it.
We were not taught to look away..everything is everyone’s business in the Caribbean. 😂
But it takes big work for these politicians to even get to the point where they are today, getting away with thievery, but bwoi we must get back to the rats ( so to speak lol) that we were.
Out everyone and their business, by putting them to shame. We were the culture that America is trying to incorporate into their society now.
” If you see something, say something”.
We were always rats.. 😂..and in a very good way..keeps everyone on par! 😂
But it’s always good to hear from you brother.
Bless.
@Islanman26 all that you mentioned, as not being present in the Caribbean in the “good ole days” were always there. Foolish pride and pushing them under the rug kept them hidden and out of sight. Why do you think we in Antigua, Barbuda & Redonda don’t have control of the Tourism Industry, to garner generational wealth?
By the way, #garRAT is the pinnacle of anything, the spear-strong, brave. Don’t use foolish pride, and phonics to push it under the carpet.
Yes, Antiguans need the resurrect the #garRAT in them like a phoenix and maybe then, they won’t need no genie to guide them, for the genie is already alive within them. It just has to be activated.
Jumbee_Picknee aka Ras Smood
De’ole Dutty Peg 🦶🏿GARRAT_Bastard
Vere Edwards
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