I have been a naughty teacher

26

Dear Kate,

I’m a teacher and I’m in a committed relationship getting married in October of this year.

Sometime in January, we had some late hours at the office. I was pretty tired and drowsy and my colleague came behind me and started massaging my shoulders and neck muscles.

It was soooo gooood and before I could catch myself and realize what was happening we were all over the office. All over the desks. We proceeded to the bathroom. We couldn’t stop. At the moment I didn’t want it to stop.

I feel so terrible and so guilty. I don’t understand what’s going on honestly, I don’t have any feelings for this guy.

I love my fiance with all my heart. This guilt just would not go away and I want to talk to him about it but I’m too scared and too embarrassed.

Besides, my girlfriends say what he does know won’t hurt him. I’ve never kept secrets from him before; I want to tell him but ….what should I do?

Should I tell him?

Bad Teacher

 

Dear Bad Teacher,

This is a rather unfortunate position you have gotten yourself into and your feeling of guilt is quite understandable. I would feel guilty too.

If you think this whole incident was something beyond your control and the guilt is getting out of control, then you should talk to your fiancé about it.

One of the main impediments of a solid relationship is the keeping of secrets between partners. One well kept secret leads to another and to another and before you know it secrets keep piling on each other and it gets out of control.

So be honest and tell your fiance.

On another note, don’t ever get yourself so tired that you end up depending on your colleague for the attention that your fiance should be giving you.

Kate

26 COMMENTS

  1. Liezzzz…from the pit of he’ll..
    I’m BACK….in full swing…
    The bare fact you both preceded to the bathroom in that walk ….runnn…skip….hop..you could STOPPED….dead in ur tracks…but YOU chose to continue…
    But YOU probabably wanted him nd ceased the opportunity…
    Now you feel bad….ur a Dammm LIAR…

    +2-13 ratings
  2. *You saw the opportunity cos a laaaannnngggg time you wanted him….and capitalised on it…..

    Bout you feel BADDD..liezzz

    +3-03 ratings
    • Girl i hear what you are saying and I feel your pain. Sometime telling these men the truth doesn’t always work out for the best, he would never forget what you have done especially mths away from your wedding day. Baby not now

      +4-15 ratings
      • Isn’t that selfish?!?! Even if you tie the knot and tell him after you would be making the marriage miserable, because he would not be able to trust her.

        +2-02 ratings
  3. Sad situation you put yourself in, they say honestly is the best policy but this one I would have to he dishonest keep my mouth shut forgive myself and move on. You going to your finance and telling him he his not going to trust you again. My friend the minute you proceed the the bathroom you wanted to do more, you get carried away too easy you should put a stop to it, and now you a saying you don’t have no feeling for this guy I believe you. I hope you can iron out to this situation Wis you all the best.

    +0-11 rating
    • What if the matter comes to light? You know the bible says what is in the dark will come to light, and when it does it is not going to be good. She should let him know and leave it up to him to see if he can forgive her; and if he does she needs to work hard and make sacrifices(which should be easy for her if she truly loves him as she says) to prove herself to him and rebuild that trust again.

      +4-15 ratings
  4. To be dishonest once shall only lead to more dishonesty! I see other’s encouraging you to keep it a secret and quite frankly that is absolute shame on them! Imagine the situation in reverse, would you like if your fiancee *accidentally* cheated on you? I don’t think so. I suggest you come clean, sit him down, explain yourself and do your best to reassure him. At the end of the day your conscience is clean, keeping secret’s is NEVER the way to enter marriage! Believe me it will not last.

    +3-03 ratings
  5. Darling I read all the comments; however we are living in a democracy and each living soul is entitle to HIS/HER views! Now my sister, I empathize with you! We are humans! “To err is human, to forgive is divine”!
    Please read and digest my instructions, guidance counsel:-
    1) There are certain negative issues and challenges in our lives, that only GOD MUST KNOW!
    2) What’s critical is that you realized your error of judgment and VOW not to repeat it! at all! at all! at all!!
    3) From this moment establish strict , stringent social and professsional limits with your colleague!
    4) Case in point insist that if and when he addresses you, he ought to greet you as Miss.—- or Mrs.—-! You must greet/address him ACCORDINGLY!
    5) Never! never! evba!! falla!! you CONSCIENCE and say bout “you go CONFESS to fiancé”!! etc.!! “CONFESS ONLY to God” and He will strengthen you darling!
    6) Focus on your strengths, have a positive and humble mind set, learn from your misfortunes!!
    7) Me dear gal! if you CONFESS to you fiancé, he will neba ‘trust nor put confidence” in you again! He, ah go dash um inna you face evbry min-it!! till you get ah nervous bruk dun!!
    8) I am a “MALE”!! I am a lawyer!! I have seen scores of genuine ladies turned to “VEGETABLES”, simply because they erred and “CONFESS” to their “FIANCE”!!
    GOD BLESS YOU!

    +7-411 ratings
    • You’re a lawyer? Makes it even more critical she doesn’t listen to such advise. We all know Lawyer’s are paid to Lie or paid liar’s if you wanna call it that. Not that i don’t agree with some of what you said, but at the end of the day SHE has to live with HER conscience and telling her to keep it secret is not the way to go. Confessing to God is one thing, but i can guarantee that if the situation was in reverse she would not like to be at the end of such a long stick. Subconsciously she had some feeling’s for the co worker, if she didn’t that situation would not have happened and or carried on for so long. She need’s to come clean so the man nar waste he time pon one woman that is very likely to knuckle he again “accidentally”!!

      +1-01 rating
  6. This comment “what he does not know won’t hurt him” NEVER applies to relationships. It applies to food you get from restaurants etc. in that “what you don’t see in the preparation of the food will not bother you”. Keeping secrets such as the above(secrets of disloyalty and other deceptive acts) is nothing but deception. A person would more respect and forgive a person who is honest and comes out and says exactly what happened. You know why they would forgive? Because we all realize we are imperfect and we make mistakes and the fact that you can honestly approach a loved on and confess to them about a serious mistake, means that you are a genuinely selfless person and to are considerate and greatly care about the one you love; in summary it is a great demonstration of love. That is what everyone wants in this life. No one wants anyone who only thinks about themselves who conveniently and deceptively say and withhold things for their own benefit. Mind you, I’m passionate about this because I’ve been through it and the lies hurt more than the mistake or the one or two lapses in judgement.

    +1-01 rating
    • I agree! the fact i see so many encouraging her to be dishonest about the situation just make’s me wonder about society nowadays. It WILL come to light eventually! of that i am completely sure. It is a selfish thing to deceive this man in such a way, marriage is a serious commitment and the fact the Fiancee used that term mean’s she know’s what it mean’s. If all who are telling her to be deceitful and not tell her spouse about this matter were in the same situation i am sure they would sing a different tune.

      +1-01 rating
  7. D’Spence!! You like all of us is entitle to your views! Now! Read my advise and coerce yourself to think and comprehend as a rational human being!!
    Inter alia, no human being is bound to confess his / her past to ANY OTHER INDIVIDUAL irrespective of the relationship!!
    Our Confessions ought to be presented God!
    What is deceitful about “confessing to our Loving, and Forgiving Almighty Father?!
    After she communicates to the Supreme Being, she ought to comply with my prior advised to the LETTER!!
    IF SHE does not heed the warning, its quite likely that my advise in #08 above SHALL be her consequence.
    I DON’T WANT HER TO DETERIOATE / DEGENERATE TO SUCH LEVEL!!!
    THAT’S ALL SIR!

    +1-01 rating
    • Victor Browne!! are you in your right frame of mind? It does not seem that way.. or maybe you don’t understand the meaning of honesty and how marriage work’s. Dear good sir, there are TWO parties involved here! the woman who “accidentally” cheated and the fiancee who is in the dark about the situation. So your best advice is confess to the Almighty and then all will be well? PARTNER SHE STILL A KEEP SECRET FROM THE FIANCEE ANYHOW YOU TURN IT!! He now is going to marry this woman who done knuckle he once, she wasn’t intoxicated, she wasn’t raped, and she wasn’t under the influence of any substance apart from sex hormones! The potential for her to do such a thing again is high. Let the poor man decide whether or not he want’s to continue or leave before it happen’s again, maybe you should try putting yourself in his place, you done marry the woman only to find out she cheated on you whilst engaged, come tell me how you would feel if she told you she already confessed to the Lord so all is well. THAT is my view on the matter!

      +0-00 ratings
    • I can see both sides of these arguments. Let me tell you my experience, I kissed another person while in a committed relationship and decided to come clean, for 9 years plus I stayed with this person under constant suspicion. I could not go out without them having a problem, I eventually became a hermit, lost contact with all my friends and was just sad and alone. We eventually separated, I have no one to call on the days when I am feeling down and out and right now I feel like i’m losing my mind with no one to reach out to, all because of a mistake.

      +4-04 ratings
  8. I am so sorry to hear about the plight of the teacher. However if the advice that Mr Brown is giving I dont think if I were ever to have a matter that I would take it to him. If the young lady feels terrible about the situation, and as you suggest that she confess to God and Him alone, she will be living a lie, and there is something we call conscience that never goes away. When you become romantically involved with some one all of you are involved, it is not just a bodily exercise, your whole mind, and every thing else is involves. Confessing to God is good, but you have never seen God. Maybe Mr B. can do it and feel no way, but they young lady obviously needs help, hence her post on this media. Additionally, in any relationship there is suppose to be trust, honesty, integrity, openness and transparency. If she tells him and let him know it will never happen again, whatever the consequences are it is better than living with a snared conscience and live a lie for the rest of her life, because what the fiance does not know, the person whome she committed that act with will never let her forget

    That is my two cents

    +0-00 ratings
  9. Hip! Hip! Hip! Hurray! hurray!
    “Reality”!!!
    Thanks! for sharing your personal experiences with us!! I was just issuing “reality checks”; hence D’Spence and Valerybonde, please take note and govern yourselves accordingly.
    D’Spence!! Kindly, get with the programme!! She did not “CHEAT”!! She is an adult. She is not the “CHATTEL” or Property of any individual!! She has freedom of choice, as it pertains to her anatomy! Please revert to my advise above, especially [“2)”]! I reiterate! “TO ERR IS HUMAN, TO FORGIVE IS DIVINE”!
    Among other things my real life advise and instructions to the dear sister and invaluable human resource, were specifically designed to prevent the “END RESULTS” that “REALITY” experienced!!
    I hope that she will take heed!!
    He who is without sin, cast the first stone!
    Amen!!

    +2-02 ratings
    • Victor Browne, for your sake I hope you’ll take your own advice if you ever end up in a situation like this with you being the one who draw’s the short straw. Indeed we are all Human and we are all prone to making mistake’s lol so let’s see if you know how to make lemonade when life throw’s a few Lemon’s your way.

      +0-00 ratings
    • The heart of man is desperately wicked, they mistake good for evil and evil for good like what you’re doing now Victor Browne and what the ppl who are supporting you are doing as well, I agree with D’Spence, I hope your able to make your own lemonade when the lemons are thrown your way and that goes for everyone who foolishly supports this Victor Browne comment, y’all better learn how to make your lemonade.

      +0-00 ratings
  10. 😂Love ur comments Mr. Browne…. The young lady made a mistake. So what? I know all of us have sinned in some way or another, “big or little”, and have omitted to tell the party/parties involved for the sake of peace. The fact that she is putting herself on her own guilt trip doesn’t necessitate her fiance doing it as well. She is clearly in tuned with her conscience and should not subject herself to the irrational judgement of her fiance or any other common sinner just like herself!! Teacher, ask God for forgiveness, get professional counselling if you must and move on. God moves in mysterious ways. Perhaps He’s teaching you a lesson that will cause you to refrain from casting quick or irrational judgement WHEN (not if) your fiance does the same?

    +2-02 ratings
  11. She already sell her self out by mentioning shes a teacher and shes getting married in october this year as well as working late hours. U better tell him true say how some people in antigua name investigation report dont let someone else have to tell him first.

    +2-02 ratings
  12. V. Brown gave the best advice. The truth hurts and forgiveness is rarely given. Don’t do it again and you’re good. Take it to the Lord and leave it with him

    +1-01 rating
  13. Hello Ms. Teacher.
    You have heard from everyone, the good and the not so good. It is now time to make a decision. Following other people’s advise is never good. You know the man you are dealing with, you know your circumstances, now weigh all you have heard and like a good teacher decide what you will do.
    I asked my pastor for advice once, he gave me the Bible principles and then said, ‘ I can’t tell you what to do, be guided by the principles’
    Remember the golden rule…” Whatever you want men to do to you, you must do to them”
    Now you decide!!!

    +4-04 ratings

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