{"id":190567,"date":"2023-11-19T11:16:47","date_gmt":"2023-11-19T15:16:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/?p=190567"},"modified":"2023-11-19T11:16:47","modified_gmt":"2023-11-19T15:16:47","slug":"letter-ablp-rejected-me-when-i-applied-to-be-a-sycophant-satirical","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/letter-ablp-rejected-me-when-i-applied-to-be-a-sycophant-satirical\/","title":{"rendered":"LETTER: ABLP Rejected Me When I Applied to be a Sycophant (Satirical)"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"antig-1971696561\" class=\"antig-ecab antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/discoverflow.co\/web\/antigua\" aria-label=\"ANU CVP Digital Broadband 1200x400_1\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1201w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:100\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:342\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:256\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1201\" height=\"401\"   \/><\/a><\/div><div id=\"antig-1442094854\" class=\"antig-before-content antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/medicalbenefitsscheme\" aria-label=\"mbs ad\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1200\/h:400\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/mbs-ad.jpeg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1200\/h:400\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/mbs-ad.jpeg 1200w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:100\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/mbs-ad.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:341\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/mbs-ad.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:256\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/mbs-ad.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1200\" height=\"400\"   \/><\/a><\/div><p>Dear Editor,<\/p><div id=\"antig-2217911909\" class=\"antig-content_5 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/ablpag\" aria-label=\"ABLP_2026_Launch_English_Digital-BB\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1920\/h:960\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English_Digital-BB-1.png\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1920\/h:960\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English_Digital-BB-1.png 2160w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:150\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English_Digital-BB-1.png 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:512\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English_Digital-BB-1.png 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:384\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English_Digital-BB-1.png 768w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1536\/h:768\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English_Digital-BB-1.png 1536w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1920\/h:960\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English_Digital-BB-1.png 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"2160\" height=\"1080\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>In October, I submitted a formal application to the Antigua and Barbuda Labour Party (ABLP) to be registered as a party sycophant.<\/p>\n<p>But to my utter shock and horror, I got word last week that my application was rejected! For the life of me, I cannot figure out why.<\/p><div id=\"antig-3473802672\" class=\"antig-content_4 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/discoverflow.co\/web\/antigua\" aria-label=\"ANU CVP Digital Broadband 1200x400_1\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1201w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:100\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:342\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:256\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1201\" height=\"401\"   \/><\/a><\/div><div id=\"antig-3615155232\" class=\"antig-content_12 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/ablpag\" aria-label=\"ABLP_2026_Launch_English-_lineup_Digital-BB (1)\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1920\/h:960\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English-_lineup_Digital-BB-1.png\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1920\/h:960\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English-_lineup_Digital-BB-1.png 2160w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:150\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English-_lineup_Digital-BB-1.png 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:512\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English-_lineup_Digital-BB-1.png 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:384\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English-_lineup_Digital-BB-1.png 768w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1536\/h:768\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English-_lineup_Digital-BB-1.png 1536w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1920\/h:960\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ABLP_2026_Launch_English-_lineup_Digital-BB-1.png 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"2160\" height=\"1080\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>I went to the party HQ on Nugent Avenue in October and got an official sycophant application form and filled it out correctly.<\/p><div id=\"antig-3267250656\" class=\"antig-content antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/ReggaeInTheParkAntigua\" aria-label=\"lucanio\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:864\/h:1080\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/lucanio.jpeg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:864\/h:1080\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/lucanio.jpeg 1080w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:240\/h:300\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/lucanio.jpeg 240w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:819\/h:1024\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/lucanio.jpeg 819w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:960\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/lucanio.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1350\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>I made no errors and even had current sycophants review my form before I submitted it.<\/p>\n<p>My application was very strong. Firstly, I demonstrated my intellectual dishonesty, which is very important. I submitted photos and documentation demonstrating that the community where is live is neglected.<\/p><div id=\"antig-3928157764\" class=\"antig-content_2 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.courts.com\/antigua\/\" aria-label=\"500X500 (1)\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:500\/h:500\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/500X500-1.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:500\/h:500\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/500X500-1.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:300\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/500X500-1.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:150\/h:150\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/500X500-1.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>The roads are a complete mess. Vector control is near non existent. We hardly get water, or they keep turning it on only at night.<\/p>\n<p>And there&#8217;s a lot of youth unemployment. A lot of guys I knew as young woman growing up are just in the block doing nothing, and the MP like she has not plan for the area.<\/p><div id=\"antig-369585323\" class=\"antig-content_3 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.antiguabarbudaculinarymonth.com\/\" aria-label=\"CM key_WEB 1300x300_1\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1301\/h:301\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/CM-key_WEB-1300x300_1.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1301\/h:301\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/CM-key_WEB-1300x300_1.jpg 1301w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:69\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/CM-key_WEB-1300x300_1.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:237\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/CM-key_WEB-1300x300_1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:178\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/CM-key_WEB-1300x300_1.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1301\" height=\"301\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>But despite all of that, I demonstrated on my application that I have nonetheless praised the government and the party and I have supported the party at many of its events.<\/p><div id=\"antig-2771418484\" class=\"antig-content_6 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/discoverflow.co\/web\/antigua\" aria-label=\"ANU CVP Digital Broadband 1200x400_1\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1201w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:100\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:342\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:256\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1201\" height=\"401\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>I have lied directly to people&#8217;s faces about issues I know are wrong, but I do it for the good of the party. I lie to myself too.<\/p>\n<p>Secondly, I also demonstrated my capacity as keyboard warrior &#8211; very important to the application.<\/p>\n<p>I have used all my social media profiles to promote Labour. I am especially active on Facebook, where I lie in wait for anyone who criticises the government or the party, and I drag them.<\/p>\n<p>I attack and try my hardest to deny, disinform and discredit. The first step is to deny that what they are saying is even true.<\/p>\n<p>Call them a liar straight-up. Then I give alternative facts about how the issue has already been addressed, is being addressed, or is the fault of the previous administration, so as to deflect blame from the party.<\/p>\n<p>Then I discredit them. I try to be in people&#8217;s business as much as possible. If there&#8217;s something about them that I know, I will try to use to my advantage &#8211; where they work, how much they make, who they friends with, what party they support, if they have any debts, if they family involve in anything scandalous &#8211; things like that.<\/p>\n<p>This is how I discredit them. And I know that I&#8217;m good at it. I also make sure to @ all my party friends as well so that it can be a feeding frenzy.<\/p>\n<p>Thirdly, I demonstrated my capacity to kiss ass. During the campaigning in January, every opportunity I got, I would go and campaign with the MP and tell her how good she look, and how she was doing a wonderful job.<\/p>\n<p>I even baked a banana bread for her. I left it with her campaign people, so I don&#8217;t know if she ever got it. Every morning, I still message her page on fb with a greeting and a blessing for the day.<\/p>\n<p>Fourthly, I demonstrated my capacity for worshipping the party leader. Nobody have Gaston Browne name good good in there mouth like me.<\/p>\n<p>No one! I am a public servant for years now, and I make sure that every morning, I let the whole office know dat it&#8217;s because of the honourable Gaston Browne, that we have clothes on our backs and food on the table to feed our children.<\/p>\n<p>By his grace and mercy alone, do we eat our daily bread. I don&#8217;t understand why he hasn&#8217;t been made a national hero as yet. He is just so wonderful.<\/p>\n<p>I actually met him once, and just one look at the man, you could tell that the country was in good hands. If he wasn&#8217;t a married man, I might see if he needed a wife. But he already have a wife.<\/p>\n<p>Having said all that, I cannot understand why my application to be a party sycophant was turned down. I lie to myself about the state of my country. I attack people who speak out. I flatter ceaselessly. I have always been servile. And I just love Gaston Browne. So why was my application rejected?!<\/p>\n<p>This is not fair. If you support the party you&#8217;re supposed to get a reward. That&#8217;s how it works. You do things to get things.<\/p>\n<p>Well I want many things, and I was hoping that this new position would start me in the right track in the party. Maybe after becoming a sycophant, I could become an ambassador or something, or get a contract to watch paint dry. I have ambition.<\/p>\n<p>I am making an appeal to my never-to-be husband Gaston Browne, please review the application process for party sycophants. I want to be one, and I don&#8217;t think I was fairly treated.<\/p>\n<p>Susanette<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div id=\"antig-4263816142\" class=\"antig-in-comments_2 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/@hadeedmotorsltd\" aria-label=\"Hadeed_WEB_Banner_MG-2\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1000\/h:250\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Hadeed_WEB_Banner_MG-2.png\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1000\/h:250\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Hadeed_WEB_Banner_MG-2.png 1000w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:75\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Hadeed_WEB_Banner_MG-2.png 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:192\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Hadeed_WEB_Banner_MG-2.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1000\" height=\"250\"   \/><\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Editor, In October, I submitted a formal application to the Antigua and Barbuda Labour Party (ABLP) to be registered as a party sycophant. But to my utter shock and horror, I got word last week that my application was rejected! For the life of me, I cannot figure out why. I went to the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":120938,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-190567","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.1 (Yoast SEO v24.1) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>LETTER: ABLP Rejected Me When I Applied to be a Sycophant (Satirical) - Antigua News Room<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/letter-ablp-rejected-me-when-i-applied-to-be-a-sycophant-satirical\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"LETTER: ABLP Rejected Me When I Applied to be a Sycophant (Satirical)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear Editor, In October, I submitted a formal application to the Antigua and Barbuda Labour Party (ABLP) to be registered as a party sycophant. But to my utter shock and horror, I got word last week that my application was rejected! For the life of me, I cannot figure out why. 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