{"id":157933,"date":"2022-08-17T11:20:01","date_gmt":"2022-08-17T15:20:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/?p=157933"},"modified":"2022-08-17T11:20:01","modified_gmt":"2022-08-17T15:20:01","slug":"letter-black-women-and-the-choices-they-sometimes-make","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/letter-black-women-and-the-choices-they-sometimes-make\/","title":{"rendered":"LETTER: Black women and the choices they sometimes make"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"antig-4212392693\" class=\"antig-ecab antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/discoverflow.co\/web\/antigua\" aria-label=\"ANU CVP Digital Broadband 1200x400_1\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1201w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:100\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:342\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:256\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1201\" height=\"401\"   \/><\/a><\/div><div id=\"antig-2686988189\" class=\"antig-before-content antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/medicalbenefitsscheme\" aria-label=\"PHOTO-2026-04-07-10-45-56\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1200\/h:400\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/PHOTO-2026-04-07-10-45-56.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1200\/h:400\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/PHOTO-2026-04-07-10-45-56.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:100\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/PHOTO-2026-04-07-10-45-56.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:341\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/PHOTO-2026-04-07-10-45-56.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:256\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/PHOTO-2026-04-07-10-45-56.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1200\" height=\"400\"   \/><\/a><\/div><p>Black women and the choices they sometimes make\u2026<\/p><div id=\"antig-2963868105\" class=\"antig-content_5 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/ablpag\" aria-label=\"Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1920\/h:1080\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1920\/h:1080\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg 1920w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:169\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:576\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:432\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg 768w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1536\/h:864\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>Black women are beautiful, hard- working and intelligent creatures. We must thank them for being the backbone of our society. Many of us were brought up in single-parent households led by women who many times had to sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of their children. We know that children don\u2019t ask to be born so there is no commendation for a parent simply doing what they are supposed to and then almost guilt- tripping their children.<\/p>\n<p>However, many times, women had no desire to parent on their own but had children with irresponsible men so these women \u201chad to do what they had to do.\u201d Many of these women from times past did not have much access to education and did not know better. The options for ways to enrich their lives were limited and the struggling black mother became normalized and somewhat expected.<\/p><div id=\"antig-666058584\" class=\"antig-content_4 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/discoverflow.co\/web\/antigua\" aria-label=\"ANU CVP Digital Broadband 1200x400_1\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1201w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:100\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:342\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:256\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1201\" height=\"401\"   \/><\/a><\/div><div id=\"antig-1312945343\" class=\"antig-content_12 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/ablpag\" aria-label=\"Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1920\/h:1080\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1920\/h:1080\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg 1920w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:169\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:576\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:432\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg 768w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1536\/h:864\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Full-ABLP-Team-Digital-Billboard-1920x1080px.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>We\u2019re now living in advanced times where many women are well- educated. Quite often, we see women posting about their academic achievements and take on being educated as an integral part of their identity.<\/p><div id=\"antig-1930174008\" class=\"antig-content antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/ReggaeInTheParkAntigua\" aria-label=\"lucanio\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:864\/h:1080\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/lucanio.jpeg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:864\/h:1080\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/lucanio.jpeg 1080w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:240\/h:300\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/lucanio.jpeg 240w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:819\/h:1024\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/lucanio.jpeg 819w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:960\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/lucanio.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1350\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>However, the cap, gown and graduation pictures too many times is where the education ends because our black women in our society continue to allow themselves to make piss poor decisions in other areas of their lives. They allow themselves to be burdened by men who clearly have no interest in building a stable family home. I would want to think that being educated would reflect in better life choices but many times, I\u2019ve seen \u201ceducated women\u201d wind up with men who don\u2019t have a pot to piss in, can\u2019t write a proper sentence or a man whose ability to provide may be significantly impeded because he already has children all over like a stud on a plantation.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s do the math, if a man has to care for himself and children in many different households, how can he really have money to sufficiently build a bright and prosperous future with these young, educated women? Women who claim to be smart still wind up popping kids out for these men and men who have shown minimal interest in them. The most they can do is post up glittery maternity photos trying to do a Shein- style take on Beyonc\u00e9\u2019s pregnancy photoshoot, maybe have a gender- reveal party with a man who looks like he was dragged to attend and that\u2019s as far as it goes into building the family because no wedding bells are to be heard.<\/p><div id=\"antig-2430320419\" class=\"antig-content_2 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.courts.com\/antigua\/\" aria-label=\"500X500 (1)\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:500\/h:500\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/500X500-1.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:500\/h:500\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/500X500-1.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:300\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/500X500-1.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:150\/h:150\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/500X500-1.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>I have seen an educated woman lament how strong she is for being a single mother and doing it all on her own. Now, I definitely agree that her child\u2019s father ought to step up and face his responsibility but I could have told her the man was not serious about that \u201crelationship\u201d so I don\u2019t know what outcome she could have expected other than being the stereotype of a black, single- mother.<\/p>\n<p>I am not saying that marriage is the end all, be all. However, it has its benefits when it comes to building generational wealth and creates the stability for a family to grow. Women be real. How many of you prefer being baby mamas over being a wife and mother? I\u2019m sure some of you are saying there are a lot of women who are married and miserable\u2026 true. However, many are married and miserable and choose to stay within the marital home because there are still benefits to it.<\/p><div id=\"antig-4165452027\" class=\"antig-content_3 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.antiguabarbudaculinarymonth.com\/\" aria-label=\"CM key_WEB 1300x300_1\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1301\/h:301\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/CM-key_WEB-1300x300_1.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1301\/h:301\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/CM-key_WEB-1300x300_1.jpg 1301w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:69\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/CM-key_WEB-1300x300_1.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:237\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/CM-key_WEB-1300x300_1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:178\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/CM-key_WEB-1300x300_1.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1301\" height=\"301\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>If you do get married and it just isn\u2019t working then you can leave but at least give yourself a chance. Don\u2019t say you don\u2019t want it because you\u2019re afraid it won\u2019t happen or you find yourself unworthy of being someone\u2019s wife. This isn\u2019t meant to cause women to hide in shame but to cause women to choose better for themselves. Wouldn\u2019t you like to have your family under one roof? The benefits of pooling your income? Someone already at home to help out with child-rearing? A partner already at home to leave the kids with when you have a girls\u2019 night? Legal protection? Come on. Let\u2019s keep it real.<\/p><div id=\"antig-2675967805\" class=\"antig-content_6 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/discoverflow.co\/web\/antigua\" aria-label=\"ANU CVP Digital Broadband 1200x400_1\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1201\/h:401\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1201w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:100\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1024\/h:342\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:256\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/ANU-CVP-Digital-Broadband-1200x400_1-1.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1201\" height=\"401\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>Black educated women are sometimes too interested in trying to be cool, showing they are still \u201cdown\u201d by twerking online and showing they still have it going on after allowing themselves to get pregnant for a man who will be out the door by the time the umbilical cord is cut. I believe regardless of the situation men need to take care of their children but I truly believe black women can choose better and view ourselves differently. We are more than our behinds and breasts.<\/p>\n<p>Worth more than photoshoots. Stability is something many women want and there shouldn\u2019t be any shame in black women pursuing it. I can\u2019t see any other race of woman being ashamed to want more for herself. If you don\u2019t want kids, fine. But these struggle relationships and fragmented families we have going on aren\u2019t ideal.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s a viral clip going around on social media saying, \u201cYou thinking small when you need to be thinking big.\u201d Women, black women it\u2019s time we start thinking big and make EDUCATED decisions in our personal lives. Do not give this an emotional response but truly think about it.<\/p>\n<p>Think big.<\/p>\n<div id=\"antig-514978441\" class=\"antig-in-comments_2 antig-entity-placement\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/@hadeedmotorsltd\" aria-label=\"Hadeed_WEB_Banner_MG-2\"><img src=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1000\/h:250\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Hadeed_WEB_Banner_MG-2.png\" alt=\"\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:1000\/h:250\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Hadeed_WEB_Banner_MG-2.png 1000w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:300\/h:75\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Hadeed_WEB_Banner_MG-2.png 300w, https:\/\/mlavawteztbj.i.optimole.com\/w:768\/h:192\/q:mauto\/f:best\/https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Hadeed_WEB_Banner_MG-2.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 696px) 100vw, 696px\" width=\"1000\" height=\"250\"   \/><\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Black women and the choices they sometimes make\u2026 Black women are beautiful, hard- working and intelligent creatures. We must thank them for being the backbone of our society. Many of us were brought up in single-parent households led by women who many times had to sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of their children. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":157934,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-157933","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.1 (Yoast SEO v24.1) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>LETTER: Black women and the choices they sometimes make - Antigua News Room<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/antiguanewsroom.com\/letter-black-women-and-the-choices-they-sometimes-make\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"LETTER: Black women and the choices they sometimes make\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Black women and the choices they sometimes make\u2026 Black women are beautiful, hard- working and intelligent creatures. 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