DEAR KATE: My workplace lover wants to remain a secret

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Dear Kate,

I am in a situation that I need to get out of. This co-worker of mine whom I have been seeing for six years wants us to remain a secret.

The thing about it is that he says it could affect our working relationship. I don’t believe him because I know of co-workers who fell in love and even got married. I am beginning to think that he is probably ashamed of me.

He wouldn’t take me anywhere and at work, we wouldn’t even have lunch together or coffee breaks. When we are off the job he comes to my home and sleep half the night but always leaves before the day is bright.

He says he wants us to remain discrete. I cannot say he has a woman but I cannot say he doesn’t because I have never been to his home. He says he lives with his family and needs time. Kate, I just don’t know what to do.

Help Me

Dear Help Me

If you cannot clearly see that this man is avoiding an open relationship with you then I don’t think there’s anything I can tell you.

Firstly, six years is more than sufficient time to know if you are in love with someone or not.

How could you have stomached that secret love affair for all this time? Secondly, what’s that about him not taking you to his home because of family?

Lady, run and run as fast as you can. This man is clearly two-timing you and you are seemingly too blind to see that. Discretion is permittable when you are with someone else’s man or husband.

But wait…Perhaps are you are. Just maybe that’s the reason he wants to keep you at bay for six years.

Hit the road and look for someone who will be yours, who’s not hiding anything from you and who is willing to love you publicly.

Kate

12 COMMENTS

  1. Woman, if you have any self worth and want to accomplish anything in life; LEAVE THAT PLAYER! After six years how much discretion is need? Open your eyes because it is obvious that he has something to hide and it seems like another woman who is more valuable than you are. You’ve never been to his house, he sleeps over half the night, little interaction at work…he already has a woman and you are the side piece. Don’t waste valuable years I your life in someone who isn’t worth it. Trust me there are good men out there who would worship the ground you walk on and tell the whole world that you are his.True love doesn’t hide and it has no secrets. You are worth more…don’t settle for less than you deserve and stop wasting your time.

  2. That’s right Kate.
    Teach this girl some common sense.
    Oh…and perhaps she should join our “Empowerment Woman’s Club”
    She can find us on Facebook.

  3. The man want his cake and eat it too. I’m just so sick of the naivety of these women. They well know what’s going on they just like the idea of having the drama in their lives. Don’t they want anything better in life? The women out there don’t want a good man, the nice respectable guys. They want the bad men with the bag of women. Smh!!

  4. Well well well…….six WHOLE YEARS YOUR HIS SECRET and YOU dnt know what to do…REALLY??
    Clearly ……he dnt want YOU…..ur jus sexxxxxx …..
    YOU LONNNNNNGGGGG WINDED BADDD…

    THIS MAN CLEARLY HAS NO INTENTION WITH YOU …
    WHEN A MAN HAS INTENTIONS 1ST THING HE WANTS ALL TO KNOW HES PROUD OF HIS WOMAN…
    NOT COMES ROUND YOU IN THE DARK…. you must be ugly. ….he’s not proud of you…he’s taken…

    SO HERES A THOUGHT CLOSE YOUR LEGGS N MOUTH…

    LOVE ON YOU …

    INVEST IN YOURSELF

    GET TO KNOW GOD…

  5. If this young lady know what is good for her, she would run, as far away from him as possible. It is obvious that she thinks that he is her night and shining, but obvious he doesn’t. Even if she is ugly, which I dont think she is, she deserves better, and she need to build her self-esteem. There is just a few words of encouragement I have for this beautiful lady.
    1: Love yourself first – If you dont love you no one else will
    2: Treat yourself with respect, dont let him come over and sleep half night and then leave, it obvious he does not only sleep, but he get sex
    3: Untangle yourself from this yoke of BONDAGE, dress up your self, model in the mirror, and tell your self, That I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He need you, YOU DONT NEED HIM

  6. miss please dont join any of these women groups ,they only teach you how not to be a woman but they want you to act like a man. …..our society is suffering from these kind of shi. …

  7. Young lady, please run. Mgtow is clearly a woman hater. He probably wants a woman to be submissive to him but is unable to achieve such. A woman is always submissive to a man that is worth it. Join whatever groups that help to empower you. Love yourself. Pray.

  8. @do you u got to be a woman and in one of the groupsame or else you would not talk them stuff the group u should be in is not one that worship false god your soul is important to God don’t give it away so easily. …I use to be In a women group called eastern stars did not know I was glorifing evil five point star turned upside down is baphometh. ….

    • OES (Order of Eastern Star) is kinda like the female version of the Lodge. Thank God that your eyes were opened and you unyoked yourself from such darkness. I pray that many others will be set free in Jesus name Amen.

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