DEAR KATE: My cousin’s husband is cheating, should I tell?

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Dear Kate,

I can’t tell my cousin that her husband is seeing another woman because she will die. Literally. I saw him and this young girl together several times and now she is pregnant. If I tell my cousin she might turn against me.  She adores, love and worship her husband and could never even think he would do something like that. But he is and I hate him for it. When she finds out she will be crushed. Should I remain silent? Or should I tell her?

Loving cousin

 

Dear loving cousin,

Well if you think your cousin will die “literally” then you don’t want her blood on your hands. I think you should “hush” because she’s going to find out sooner rather than later, especially if this woman is indeed pregnant. Just prepare to be there for your cousin when the news breaks. Your comfort and love might just be what she need to grapple with the devastation.

Best Kate

10 COMMENTS

  1. She adores love and what!!! worships her jusband🤔🤔🤔🤔.
    Then cousin fren do what kate suggested ..”hushhhhh”…
    GOD… bans us from worshipping/ idolizing ANYONE/ANYTHING besides him… she will learn …..larrrnnn the hard way like most too……

    She has every right to LOVE her husband and to be totally submissive to him GOD required it but fren not to the point of stupidity……

    Im sure she can sense something but when women especially wives,allow themselves to be totally dependent on husband tjey will turn a blind eye to reality…

    This issue IF true is btween HUSBAND and WIFE ..

  2. Take Kate’s advice. “What is in darkness will come to light” Just prepare yourself to be there for her. She will definitely need your support when she discovers the BETRAYAL & feels like her world falling apart or that she going crazy. Lovingly and patiently support and encourage her as much as you can, but HERS is the lesson to learn and be stronger from.

    • Shawty…….All hope is not lost. We cannot allow other people’s experiences to determine the quality of our lives. I can agree that marriage is not for everyone (especially the faint of heart) but there are still good marriages out there. Our marriage is what we make it. What we put in is what we get out.

  3. But if the young lady is pregnant then maybe he is not even protecting himself & could bring diseases for his wife smh I don’t know why some men get married because they keep cheating on their wives …..maybe you could tip her off in some way like creating an fake account to let her know her husband is cheating I mean do you really want your cousin to continue having sex with him putting her health at risk ??? I’m sorry for your cousin but she’ll get over it eventually

    • Agree! It’s unloving to standby, see someone being hurt and do nothing about it. What if she really picks up a disease, you would feel really bad, maybe guilty. I also think if your cousin finds out that you knew all the time before she found out, she would feel awful; as if you seen her making a “fool” of herself and said nothing. Think of the best way to inform her. Talk to responsible family members about it and how to approach informing her in the right way.

    • I fully agree. It is very hard to stand by an watch a lie. I agree with Kate to support her and I think you should. Observer your cousin see the supportive needs and financial needs and please assist her.
      Then I would confront her husband and let him know what he is doing. He is obviously not hiding.
      The next thing is your cousin may not be as unaware as you think, the good book says you cannot love two women – (“If a man has two wives, the one loved and the other unloved – Duet 21:5 ). she may not be happy and is hurting. A woman knows when a man has changed, we are never, ever blind and many say ,we just may not know the source of the of change. Pray for her and then be there for her but don’t leave her in the dark

  4. Pray about it and probable use Kate’s advice but If you don’t tell her and she found out that you knew about it, then what? Do you think she can trust or understood why you did not give her a heads up?

    There are so many ways of telling…can you drop her an anonymous note some where some how.

    And when she does get enough evidence to find out about the truth, then maybe you reveal to her that you was by her side all the time.

    I mean to say, some times we humans prefer if some one would let us know about these things in the earlies than to wait it out and have others noticing it before us making us look like fools. We might be crushed and devastated in the truth being revealed in the earlies but at least we are not the last to know in our minds.

    Drop her an anonymous note about what you have seen.

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